Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten
by OffCenterFold
Summary: Fate brought them together, their paths kept them together. But their ghosts have not been laid to rest, and the quest for redemption could still tear them apart. After coming so far, will a moment of misjudgment destroy everything toward which they've worked?
1. Chapter 1

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten (Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part I: Missive

She was making breakfast when she heard the knock on the door. Curious, she left the kitchen to answer it.

To her surprise, Kaoru stood at the door, her eyes large and bright with unshed tears.

"Kaoruchan? What's wrong?"

"I… It's nothing, Megumisan, I'm sorry I bothered you!" Turning around, Kaoru ran off. Bewildered, she shut the door.

"Who was it?" her husband asked from the inner court.

"It was… no one important," Megumi said. "Breakfast will be ready shortly." She made her way into the kitchen to to check the soup pot.

"You shouldn't be doing that alone," came the reply. Warm hands were suddenly on hers, a warm masculine chest pressed up against her back. Warm breath tickled her ear. "This one will help you, Megumidono."

She turned her face to kiss the cheek that pressed against hers, tracing the scar with her lips…

"I love you, Kensan."

.oOo.

Megumi shot upright, breathing rapidly, eyes wide. She hadn't had a dream about him in many months, certainly not since Soujirou had begun courting her in earnest. He wanted to do it Western style, he had said, taking her out for entertainment and spending time in her company – sometimes without her brother's watchful eyes on them. Occasionally, she had even permitted him to steal a kiss… rarely. The concept of emotional intimacy unnerved them both, and they were perfectly content to take their time.

Her brother, despite his show of protective supervision, had made many unsubtle hints about them making it official. He had even offered to legally adopt the man now known as Semmai Soushi into the family. Takani Toshihiro was a very traditional man.

But neither Soujirou (now known almost exclusively as Soushi) nor Megumi was in any rush. It had been a year since Megumi's hurried trip to Tokyo. She had not returned for another visit afterwards; even with the three of them working full time, there was no time for any of them to take a true vacation.

She struggled for composure. In the year since she had resolved to take her time and let things develop with Soushi, she had accepted her feelings as best as she was able. She had acknowledged that her love for Kenshin was no longer a romantic love. Why, then, was he suddenly appearing in her dream?

Rubbing her eyes, Megumi got her breathing under control. Though it was still early, she rose. The idea of a long, hot bath was tempting, but she resisted, settling instead for a quick washup before going in to prepare breakfast.

She did not make soup.

She did, however, bring it out to a very appreciative if bleary eyed pair of men.

"You're up early, neechan," Toshi observed.

"Yes."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes."

"You're being terse."

"I'm sorry."

"Too early?"

"That too."

"Bad dreams?"

Megumi didn't answer immediately.

"Hmm. Nothing you care to talk about, I take it."

"No."

"That's fine, then," Toshi said comfortingly. He tucked into the meal Megumi had set before him, chuckling at Soushi's apparent dazedness. "Looks like you didn't sleep too well either, Soukun."

"You know I was out late on an emergency," Soushi muttered.

"I know. Just trying to keep it cheerful around here."

"Oniisama? Do us all a favor?"

"What's that, neechan?"

"Shut up."

Toshi pretended to recoil as if struck. "Oh, ouch! Harsh words from my little sister!" He smiled in apology. "I'll stop and let you two regain your feet."

"I hate working for a morning person," Soushi sighed.

"I hate being related to one." Megumi offered him a sympathetic smile, which he returned.

They finished the meal in relative silence, each wrapped in his (or her) own thoughts. Megumi had just risen to clear when there was a knock at the door and the postal carrier announced his presence.

"I'll clear, Megumisan. You get the mail." Soushi smiled at her again.

"Thank you," she said. She had been hoping to hear back from the Tokyo crowd. After last night's dream, however, she wanted to read their letter alone before her brother or her fiancé saw it. She was deeply disturbed by the dream, and by what it could mean.

When she had left the room, Toshihiro turned to their colleague. "Soukun, it's been more than a year. Don't you think you ought to get married already?"

Soujirou sighed. "Toshisan… Takanisensei, there is one thing that must be addressed before that can happen… and I'm not sure I'm ready for it.

"Megumisan is very important to me, but she has other important people in her life. I cannot in good conscience tie my life to hers without knowing that they approve… And I don't think I'm worthy of that yet."

"Soukun," Toshihiro had replied, "for an intelligent young man, you can be very dense sometimes."

The youth mulled it over. Six years had passed since the confrontation between Shishio and Kenshin. He hadn't wandered his intended full ten years, and sometimes he felt guilty about that, but he was twenty-four years old. He remembered still the dreams he'd once harbored as a little boy, working for his father's family as little better than a slave. More than anything, he'd wanted a simple family life. He'd dreamed of being a great samurai, as had every little boy for centuries, but he'd also entertained the idea of becoming a teacher, or a doctor, and doing something to help those who needed a way out.

He knew that the older man was right, and that he needed to speak to Kenshin and the others. The question was whether Himura and the others would be willing to speak to him.

Megumi appeared in the doorway, trembling and paler than usual. "Oniisama… There's a letter from Kaoruchan. They're coming up here to visit.

"They want to meet you," she said to Soujirou. "Both of you actually; Kaoru is very upset that I never brought my brother 'home' to Tokyo to meet them."

Instead of seeming pleased by the news, however, Megumi could not hide her distress. ~Why now? Why suddenly do they want to come here?~

"When will they get here?" Toshi asked.

"Within three days."

"Not giving us much time to prepare, are they," Soujirou muttered, not bothering to hide his irritation. As upset as Megumi was over the news, he felt torn; he wanted to go to her and comfort her, but he also wanted to run as fast and as far as possible.

"That's probably the point," Toshi pointed out. "They're no fools. I say let them come and take us as we are. How many are coming?"

"Kaoru, and Yahiko, and Kensan and Kenji of course, and they said they might be bringing someone else but they weren't sure yet if that person would come."

"Who?"

"They didn't say." Megumi was afraid she knew who the person might be. But why, then, would they keep it a secret from her? But then, it might be someone else – perhaps even Oguni Genzai, her mentor and friend. In which case, of course they'd want to surprise her!

The thought warmed her, and she decided to hold on to the hope. After all, he was unquestionably interested in her brother's practices, and the clinic, and everything she'd accomplished in the six years since leaving his clinic and coming to Aizu. Though they'd corresponded regularly, the doctor had not yet been able to come north to visit, and he had told her more than once that he wished to do so.

So that was it, she decided. The other possibility was simply unacceptable. She didn't want to see _him_; even if he was safely married to Tae, Sanosuke was worse in his way than Kenshin. At least the redhead respected when someone didn't want to discuss something. Sanosuke had a tendency to keep poking at it until the whole issue was talked out, usually with raised voices, dire threats, and frequent insults.

At least, that's how it was with him for her. She didn't know if he knew about her and Soujirou; she didn't really care if he did, but she suspected that the news would not sit well with him. For all his abrasiveness, Sano always did try to look out for her.

"It could be one of several people," Megumi said. "Perhaps Yahiko was able to convince Tsubamechan to come with them," she said, Fox ears up and a wicked grin on her face. Though the thought was not the first in her mind, it was entirely possible. Yahiko and Tsubame were sixteen now, and old enough to wed…

The thought tamped her amusement. Stifling a sigh, she glanced down at the letter in her hand again.

"They plan to stay at an inn rather than tax our hospitality, she says."

"If you like, neechan, we can put them up here," Toshi offered. "Four or five people is a lot, but at least one of them is very small." He grinned.

"You haven't had much exposure to small children lately, have you," Soujirou chimed in dryly.

"No, because I usually let you handle them." Toshi grinned briefly. "In all seriousness, Soukun, I'm blown away by how far you've come in the past two years. From the day Nubuokun dragged you to our doorstep, more than half dead from starvation and exhaustion, I've been amazed by you."

Soujirou blinked in surprise, his uncertain glance at Megumi telling.

"Yes," she said softly, with a gentle expression. His own eyes lit, happiness at her admission filling him.

"You've come a long way in many ways, Soukun. Your smile is a natural thing, these days." Toshi grinned. "So's your blush."

"Toshi!" Megumi's voice was chastising but her expression matched Soujirou's, her cheeks tinged with red.

"You're too old to blush, little sister." Toshi's grin widened. And, his sister and his protégé would have sworn that in that moment, Takani Toshihiro sported Fox ears not unlike his sister's, when she was at her wicked best – except that she was too busy fuming and Soujirou was caught between blushing, fuming, and laughing.

Megumi glared, red-faced, at both of them, threw a pillow at her brother, and stalked into the clinic to prepare for the day's influx of patients.

By the end of the day, Megumi went on a cleaning frenzy; Toshi and Soushi both offered to help and rapidly learned that staying out of the way was far more in their own best interests. For the next two days they handled the clinic while she attacked the living areas with a vengeance. Even though they generally leaved cleanly, she wanted her friends to see her living in nothing short of perfection.

The truth was she was terrified. Though they were always busy, they were not that wealthy; most of Toshi's money had come from Kyuushuu with him. Though the clinic was in good repair, in no small part due to the government funding that had been provided to them initially, they were far from the lap of luxury. For no sensible reason, she was afraid that her friends might think less of her for not living in luxury. ~Which,~ she would chide herself repeatedly, ~is quite silly considering the state in which the dojo was when Kensan and Sano first brought me there.~ The memory made her smile – and redouble her efforts.

They were expected late that evening, and Megumi gave the house a final inspection. There was nothing she could fault. There was no dust, the shoji paper in the screens, doors, and windows had been repaired, and the worn out tatami floor panels had been replaced. Not a thing was out of place, and yet the house still looked lived in and loved. The woman took a deep breath, inhaling the scents of the place that was her home.

"No one can fault you on how clean the place is, neechan," Toshi said, coming up behind her. "Not that they ever could, but you've really outdone yourself.

"It'll be okay, you know." He draped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed, the rare intimacy making her blink.

"Oniisama…"

"Listen to me, Megumi. I'm your brother. I won't let anyone do anything to hurt you. Even the people you've thought of as friends… If they do anything that hurts you, anything at all, they're going to have me to deal with." Though his tone was soft, there was an edge to his voice that rivaled any blade she'd ever seen. "You're all the family I've got, and NO ONE is going to mess with you."

Megumi hugged him back, but gave him an odd look. "Oniisama, what's with you?"

He shrugged. "Just lookin' out for my baby sis, is all." He grinned guilelessly. "Hey," he said suddenly. "Do you think I should get glasses?"

"Glasses?"

"Yeah," he said, all trace of the protective older brother gone. "I think they'd make me look more distinguished."

"Toshiniisama, you are very strange sometimes." She tossed her hair. "You're a Takani. You don't need any help looking distinguished."

"Well, yes, it's true, we are strikingly attractive, aren't we?"

"Not to mention brilliant."

"And talented."

"And fair-minded."

"And if you two don't stop, I think I'm going to be sick all over your nice clean floors," Soujirou chimed in, having come in behind them.

"Why, Soukun, don't you agree that the Takani siblings are the most attractive, intelligent, gifted people in all of Aizu, if not Japan?" Toshihiro actually batted his eyes.

"I can only speak for one of them, and I don't mean you," he retorted, grinning. His eyes were on Megumi, who blushed.

It was Toshi's turn to roll his eyes. "Now I think I'm the one who's going to be sick," he teased.

"Megumisan, are you ready for dinner?"

"I was just about to start cooking," she said. "I know it's late. I'm sorry."

"Not tonight. Everyone will be here in a couple of hours and the last thing you need to do is work yourself to exhaustion. I'm going to take you to a restaurant for dinner tonight. If your brother is nice to me, perhaps I'll bring him something back."

"If I'm _nice_ to you!?" Toshihiro affected indignation.

"We could just let him go hungry," Megumi said, moving to Soujirou's side. Though he was only a few inches taller than her at most, she looked up at him with a teasing smile.

"Oh, I am betrayed! And so swiftly!" Unable to keep up the act, Toshi laughed. "Oh, go on, get out of here. I can just as easily make something for myself."

Megumi paled. "Maybe I should make him something before we go…?"

"Already taken care of," Soujirou reassured her. "There are leftover onigiri from lunch; he can have those."

"Leftovers?" Toshihiro made a face, but they all knew he was perfectly happy to eat the onirigi that Soushi had made. Many times he had been heard to declare them "very almost as good" as Megumi's.

"Let's go, Soushisan," Megumi said, pretending to ignore him.

"We won't be long," Soujirou said, his eyes not leaving Megumi's. "But I do think Megumisan needs to relax away from here for a little."

"No, I won't argue that," Toshi said, nodding. "You two enjoy yourselves… But not too much!" he added, the grin creeping back onto his face.

Megumi followed him out. Toshihiro watched them go, then turned to the kitchen to see what had been left to him.

His sister might not seem – or choose? – to remember, but he had not forgotten how she had once spoken of the redheaded wanderer called Himura Kenshin. He had not forgotten the sadness that she had felt, even five years after having given up hope of him. He viewed Soujirou's arrival as a blessing in more ways than one, but he had other concerns about their relationship – not the least was the length of time they were taking. Clearly, they were besotted with one another; clearly, they wanted to be together – so why were they taking so long? Even if he wanted to court her Western style, they should have made more progress in the last year… And Toshihiro was more than half convinced it was all the fault of that redheaded guy.

~Just a few more hours until I meet this guy… And just as soon as is seemly, I am going to get him alone… And let him have it.~

.oOo.

Dinner was a quiet affair, as both Megumi and Soushi had their minds on the upcoming visit. They both ate lightly, each a bundle of nerves. They didn't discuss it until they were on the way back to the clinic.

"Megumisan?"

"Hai?" Startled out of her own thoughts, Megumi glanced at Soujirou to see his eyes full of trepidation.

"Megumisan, I'm not sure this is a good idea," he said finally.

"What isn't?"

"Having them stay here."

"You know as well as I do that it was my idiot brother's idea."

"He's trying to look out for your best interests," Soujirou reminded her.

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" Megumi grumbled.

"Heh. Sometimes even I'm not sure of the answer to that question."

"Soushisan…"

"No, it's true. Ever since the first time I confronted Himurasan I've done nothing but question myself."

Megumi smiled wryly. "He has that effect on a lot of people."

"Heh. There is that," the young man concurred.

"They don't know you're here," Megumi said softly. "I've only ever talked about you in my letters as Semmai Soushi, the new assistant. I've only… Well, when I left without a word a year ago, I went to Tokyo. I needed to talk to Genzaisensei. Kensan was coming into the clinic. He heard everything.

"He didn't seem to be angry, mostly surprised and concerned… For both of us." She looked at him, gave him a second to absorb her words. "I doubt he's told the others you're here. I'm sure that he read my silence about you in the letters as my not being ready to talk about you to the others. It isn't that I don't trust them, but some of my friends do have a slight tendency to jump to conclusions…"

"And I was their enemy for a long time," Soujirou concluded. "They might not be ready to accept that I'm not anymore."

"You're not at all who you were before," Megumi said softly.

"No," Soujirou said, a slight smile on his lips. "But I think I'm finally starting to be the person I was meant to be."

"The person you always were, you mean?"

Soujirou nodded. "The person I am when I'm with you."

They had reached the Takani Clinic, and were standing outside it, looking into one another's eyes. The sun was setting, casting a fiery glow over everything, and the streets were momentarily empty.

Soujirou took a step closer, his hair falling forward to partially obscure his face. "Megumisan…"

"Soushisan…" She took a step closer to him in turn. They were standing so close… He tilted his head slightly. Her chin came up a little.

The kiss began tentatively; they kept a little way apart before Soushi's fingers entwined themselves in her hair, loosening her coronet of braids, and Megumi's hands rested themselves on his shoulders. For that moment, the rest of the world faded out; nothing existed except that moment, and the tenderness they'd found in one another's arms.

_[AN] I apologize to my readers; the surname for Soujirou was supposed to be Semmai, not Senmai as it appears in_ Unmei no Haguruma. _ The new surname means "washed rice" and was inspired by the original meaning of Seta, the kanji for which essentially translate as "turbulent rice paddy". _

_I also want to thank those of you who encouraged me to explore this relationship further; I'd wanted to but wasn't entirely sure where to start. More than one person wanted to know what happened when Kenshin met Soujirou again – and what Megumi's brother would have to say to our favorite rurouni. Thank you for your support. It truly is deeply appreciated. [/AN]_


	2. Chapter 2

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten**

**(Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part II: Meeting

"They said it was just around this corner here!" Kaoru's voice carried well through the quiet streets as she led her little band of family.

She stopped short as she rounded the corner to see the Takani clinic, a well marked and prominent building, gleaming in the fiery rays of the setting sun. Those same flame hues glinted off the braided hair of a familiar figure in a very UNfamiliar position. She was unquestionably kissing someone – and not just a friendly little kiss either! Kaoru's hand came up immediately to cover Kenji's eyes, and Yahiko nearly barreled into her from behind.

"Oiy, busu, what's the –" Then he, too, saw what Kaoru had seen. Kenshin, had he not been himself, would have stumbled into him. The fifth member of their party, managing most of the luggage, was fortunate enough to be far enough behind as to miss risking a collision.

"Oro…" Nervously, he exchanged a glance with his wife. Yahiko was blushing furiously and desperately trying to look anywhere but at the clinch at the clinic.

"What'd you all stop for," Sanosuke demanded, bringing up the rear and most of the luggage. His voice at last penetrated the haze of romance around the couple, and they broke apart hurriedly, faces redder than the sun alone painted them.

"You!" Sanosuke dropped the luggage and started towards them, only to find Kenshin in his way.

"Sano…"

"Kenshin, that guy… Not only was he kissin' the fox, but that guy is Seta Soujirou! You remember him, don't you? Damn near killed you before Shishio had a chance?"

"Kenshin… What do you know about this?" Kaoru's voice was tight.

"You KNEW about this?" Sano looked ready to punch his best friend's face in at that moment.

Megumi, meanwhile, was urging Soujirou inside; he was shaking his head. Instead, he looked defiantly at Megumi's startled, disgruntled friends and put an arm around her waist, pulling her towards him protectively, shielding her body slightly with his own.

"Soushi, go inside!" she insisted again, seeing Sanosuke turn on Kenshin with a look of incredulity burgeoning into rage.

"This isn't how I pictured it, but Megumisan, maybe it's better to get this over with."

She opened her mouth to respond, though her hand was already resting atop his on her waist.

"Megumisan?" Kaoru called out, not having moved from where she stood.

Megumi leveled a look at Soushi that told him he would be hearing about this later. "Kaoruchan. Please, why don't you all come inside?" She looked about, indicating that the street was hardly the place to have any kind of confrontation.

"Minnasan, I'm so glad you're here. We don't have much extra room, but you're certainly welcome to stay here if you like. Why don't you come in and meet my brother?"

Toshi had heard the discussion, heard his sister make the suggestion, and decided to wait to make his appearance. Such things are best shared, he knew, without any witnesses. He slipped quietly back from the doorway and retreated into his own rooms.

"Just put the luggage down for now," Megumi said as they entered the main area of the living quarters. "And please, sit." They did so in uneasy silence, having brought the luggage in as far as the front door. Sanosuke stayed with it, leaning against the doorframe and glaring.

Kenji, bored and curious about the man who'd been kissing Megumi (he'd seen despite his mother's best efforts), wiggled out of his father's embrace and wandered over to Soujirou. He looked up at the doctor-in-training for a long moment.

"Hello there," Soushi said with a smile.

Kenji tilted his head and studied Soushi with a solemn expression.

Brown eyes met wide blue ones for a long moment. "He really does favor you, Himurasan."

"Thank you, Semmaisan." His friends blinked at Kenshin; they hardly ever heard him address anyone with the –san honorific. Kenshin paid them no mind, instead watching his son watch the former member of the Juppongatana.

After a moment, Kenji tired of studying the stranger and wandered over to Megumi. "Megubasan," he said and tried to crawl into her lap; no easy task in the formal position in which she sat. Warmth suffused her face as she pulled him into her arms.

"Yes, Kenjikun?"

The toddler didn't respond verbally, instead pressing his cheek to her shoulder and shaking his head.

"Well that settles that, then." Yahiko grinned. "He usually runs away from his 'Uncle Sano'."

"Who wouldn't?" Megumi quipped back. They all laughed, except for Sanosuke, who was too busy glaring at Soujirou.

Sanosuke saw his old enemy, but Kenshin saw Soujirou's eyes in that moment, and recognized something in them he had seen before in the face of another person in the room. ~So that's how it is.~

"All right, Kitsune, what's going on?"

Megumi took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You all know that Semmai Soushi came to us two years ago, near death's door. You also know that he had a past he wants to put behind him. In that, he's no different from the rest of us," she directed the last at Sanosuke.

"Kenshin, why the hell are you so calm about this?"

"Relax, Sano. Yes, it's true that this person was once Seta Soujirou," Kenshin said calmly. "But this one believes Megumidono, and believes that Seta Soujirou is, like Himura Battousai, no more."

Soushi bowed gratefully. "I'm glad you understand, Himurasan. I don't know exactly how much Megumisan has told you, but I'm truly not the person who faced you on Shishiosan's behalf."

Sanosuke exchanged a look with Kenshin and backed down – but still did not sit. Though their stances were no longer aggressive, they were still ready for anything.

"Oh, for – That was _six years ago. _He's been living_ here_ for _two years_. You idiot, do you really think he's going to attack you _now_?" Megumi snapped.

"How do you know he's not using you for some trick? Playing with you like –"

"Enough, you two," Kaoru interjected, using her Mom tone. Still glaring, Sanosuke swallowed the remainder of his words, apparently not liking the taste. "Megumisan. Soujirousan."

"Soushi," Megumi interjected. "Not Soujirou. Semmai Soushi."

Kaoru nodded. "Forgive me, then. Soushisan. Why don't you two tell us the whole story? We'll listen," she said, with a significant glance at Yahiko and Sanosuke.

"Oiy, Megumineechan, you weren't going to have storytime without me, were you?" said a plaintive voice from the inner doorway. The owner of the voice appeared even as he spoke.

Tall and broad-shouldered, he was in good shape. For a while after his sister's arrival in Aizu, he had developed a slight paunch, but having a third doctor in the practice allowed him enough time to stay fit. His facial features were close to a masculine version of Megumi's; he was a handsome, eligible man in his early thirties. "This is my brother," Megumi said, turning to her friends. "Takani Toshihiro." He bowed, and she introduced her Tokyo friends in turn.

"It's nice to finally meet all of you in person," he said smoothly, bowing to all of them at once. "Has my sister provided you with refreshments yet?"

"She has offered," Kaoru said, "but we're really all right, thank you."

"And who is this," Toshi asked, indicating the child in Megumi's arms.

"This is Himura Kenji."

"He's a bit tired from the trip," Kaoru added.

"It's nice to meet you, Himura Kenji."

Kenji looked at the man for a moment, then looked at his "Aunt Megumi". "Megubsasan?"

"This is my brother, Kenji. His name is Toshihiro."

"You can call me Uncle Toshi, if you like," the man himself said with a wide grin. "But I bet you really want to go to sleep now."

He chuckled as Kenji nodded. "Soukun, why don't you and I take their luggage to the guest rooms so that Kenji here can get settled in as soon as possible?"

"Sure," Soushi said, seemingly put at ease as he picked up the majority of the luggage.

"Careful, it's heavy," Kaoru cautioned.

"It's all right," Soushi answered cheerfully as his mentor gathered the rest of their belongings. "If Sagarasan can handle it all himself, I'm sure the two of us can manage."

"Such confidence," Toshi grumbled as he gathered the remainder. Though Soujirou had the lion's share, the older doctor was having a bit of trouble.

"I'll help," Yahiko said as he rose. Kaoru nodded approvingly.

"No, that's all right. I've got the rest," Soujirou said. Truthfully, there wasn't as much luggage as Toshi made it out to be; he had been hoping that Kenshin himself would volunteer. ~Should've known it wouldn't be that easy. Still. A few days to observe them all would be more beneficial.~

Leaving his sister with her guests, Toshi followed Soujirou into the room in which their male guests would lodge – in the interests of space, it had been decided that Kaoru and Kenji would stay with Megumi, Soushi would move in temporarily with Toshi, and his room would be used by Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke. "It'll be like old times," Kaoru had said happily. "Well, almost," she said with a smile for her son.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" the mentor asked, concern for his pupil clear on his face.

"It's no problem at all. I've long since gotten my strength back, and even though I'm not as strong as Sagarasan –"

"That's not what I meant, Soukun, and you know it."

The youth turned a smile on his teacher. "I'm fine. I promise, Sensei. Honestly," and the smile faltered slightly, "I'm not sure I'm ready to have that conversation with them, but it seems once again that what I want doesn't matter."

Toshi spent a long minute searching Soujirou's face, but nothing he saw there indicated that the boy was hiding anything. "I don't blame you for wanting to have done so on your own terms. Still, I'm sure it'll work out," he said with an optimism he wasn't entirely sure he felt. It wasn't that he didn't trust his sister's judgment – or her friends – as much as he worried about those under his care.

And there was the little matter of what had happened between Megumi and Kenshin – and how he'd broken her heart. Granted, her current happiness softened him a little, but Toshi wasn't going to let the scrawny little redhead get away with having hurt his sister.

"I'll keep you busy at the clinic, if you'd rather," he said simply. "In fact, we can both stay busy at the clinic and give Megumi some time with her friends. I have a feeling that tall one is going to take some convincing."

Soujirou nodded, liking the idea. "That would be kind," he replied.

"But more to her, or to us?" He grinned conspiratorially at his protégé. "Speaking of, it's your story they want to hear. May as well give it to them, before she steals all your thunder."

Soushi pushed his hair back from his face and grinned, a bit nervously. "Something like that." He permitted Toshi to lead the way, to find that Megumi had been waiting for them to begin.

"I didn't know a thing about it," she was saying, "until I returned from my last visit to see all of you. He was already here, and recovering from – oh, you're here. Good. You can tell them how it all began."

Toshi sighed. "Under interrogation in my own home," he mourned. "And not even about myself!" His exaggerated expression drew smiles from most of the others. "Very well, then. Something tells me I'll get no peace until I talk.

"It was a few days before Megumi returned from her long visit to you all. There's a part time assistant, who is here less often now that he's involved with his father's business, named Nobuo. He's a good kid, but he has a tendency to pick up strays."

"Sound familiar, Kenshin?" Yahiko teased.

"This one is not to blame for that," Kenshin said mildly, studiously avoiding Kaoru's gaze.

"Hmph," was all his wife had to say. Yahiko snickered.

"Anyway, while it was always animals before, one day Nobuokun found a young man by the side of the road, more than half dead of starvation and neglect. And he was filthy, to boot. Stunk to high heaven." Toshi made a show of holding his nose while Soujirou glowered. "Nobuo and I got him cleaned up somewhat, and fed, and then Megumi came home just about the time he was starting to get around a little. Nobuo had a bit of a crush on my sister, then, and so he'd drawn her up a bath. I didn't realize she was still there when I sent Soushikun to take his…"

"She let you live?" Yahiko burst out, his shock echoed on the faces of the others.

"I've never seen anyone move as fast as he did then," Megumi said, her own astonishment at the time coming back to her. "He was faster even than Kensan, I think. I hadn't even drawn breath to scream before he was gone, faster than I could blink."

"Shukichi," Yahiko said, and Kenshin nodded.

"You remember."

"Yeah. I'd like to see it in action," Yahiko admitted.

"You're as bad as Sanosuke, always wanting fights," Kaoru chastised affectionately. It scored her a glare from both of the spiky-haired young men.

"That's when she figured out who I was," Soushi added. He shared a glance with Megumi. "It wasn't as though I was very careful to hide my identity, even though I was already changing from the person I'd been while with Shishiosan. I wanted a new identity, not because I wanted to hide who I'd been – no one except for Shishiosan's people and you knew anything about me. I wanted to become a new person. What you said… Himurasan, you turned my world on its end, but I didn't hate you for it. I wanted to do as you had done, and find my own way. To discover my own truth."

"And his way led him to us. It hasn't always been easy, but Soukun is a fast learner and a hard worker, and in only two years he's proven to be my brightest apprentice."

"He's your only apprentice," Megumi pointed out.

"Nobuokun is too… Sort of."

"Sort of." Megumi rolled her eyes at her brother. "Nobuokun is a good boy, but he's going into his father's business. None of us ever expected anything else, brother mine, and if you did, you're dumber than I thought."

"I thought no such thing," Toshi rebutted. "I never expected that he'd stay on. I know he hoped otherwise, but Nobuokun is growing up well. Now we just need to find him a wife."

"What is it with you and matchmaking everyone? You're such an old woman," Megumi grumbled, flipping her head – a wasted gesture, as her hair was braided into its coronet.

"Takes one to know one," Toshi teased.

Everyone else backed away from him.

"What about finding yourself a wife?"

"I don't need a wife," Toshi said valiantly. "My loving sister takes care of the cooking and cleaning around here."

"And runs the clinic right alongside you, and manages the books, since you're terrible at it. Perhaps I'm the one who needs a wife," Megumi mused. She smirked at the variety of expressions leveled in her direction, ranging from horror (her brother) to intrigue at the concept (Kaoru) and confused despair (Soushi).

"Two years, huh?" Sanosuke spoke at last. He still looked unimpressed, however, and somehow during the discourse had found a fishbone and was chewing on it.

"Ugh, do you have to do that here?" Megumi glared. Sanosuke glared back, chewing defiantly.

The small child shifted slightly on her lap and she looked down to see Kenji had fallen asleep.

"He's out," Kaoru said softly. "Megumisan, would you show me to our room, and help me put him to bed?"

"Of course," Megumi nodded. She gave a warning glare at the menfolk as Kaoru picked out her own luggage from the pile and led the way to her room.

"I'll set up the futons, if you don't mind holding Kenji."

"Mind? How could I mind?" Megumi buried her face in the fine red hair, inhaling the sweet baby scent of him. Though he was past the toddler stage, he seemed to weigh nothing in her arms, and she thought fleetingly of all the children she had held over the years as a doctor. As with all of them, holding Kenji caused the ache in her heart to swell.

Kaoru worked quickly and took her son from Megumi's arms, placing him gently under the blankets. He made a small sound and rolled on his side, not waking up. The two women watched him for a few minutes, each lost in her own thoughts.

"Seta Soujirou is the only opponent Kenshin wouldn't talk about," Kaoru said at last. "In all the years since, he's opened up about everything but what happened during that fight."

Megumi was startled. "But that's… But why?"

Kaoru shook her head. "The only thing Kenshin ever really says about it is it was the most difficult fight he has ever had, but not because of his opponent's skill."

Megumi nodded. "They have a lot in common, you know." Slowly she told Kaoru some of Soushi's history, providing only a rough sketch of the boy's suffering through childhood. She glossed over his first encounter with Shishio and spared her friend most of the details of his training under that harsh master. "They were both children of hardship, both found in their darkest hours by a strong man who raised them and taught them, and both filled with doubt about what they were doing and why."

"I wish I could say Kenshin never doubted himself," Kaoru agreed thoughtfully. "But I guess you're right, Megumisan. Still, I wonder what happened that Kenshin won't talk about it?"

"Soushisan talks about it," Megumi said softly. "He says he broke open. Ten years of hatred and repression broke loose inside him like a typhoon. He felt things, fighting Kensan, that he had been able to shunt aside for years. Kensan was too much a symbol to him of what could have been, of what he wanted from life.

"He has nightmares about it, even still. He wakes up and all he can say is, 'I was really crying.'" Megumi's lips tightened as she controlled her own response. Their rooms were not so far that she did not hear him crying, and not always in his sleep. "All he had ever wanted was a peaceful life. The kind of life that Kensan has always fought for. But instead, he got Shishio.

"Now, though, he's well on his way to becoming a doctor in his own right. He hates the sword, and if not for Toshiniisan's insistence, would have never picked one up again. Actually, my idiot big brother decided that Soushisan should teach him some basics, so they can get some exercise – and the truth is, it's no bad thing to have someone around who can defend the clinic."

Kaoru noticed the hesitation before the last words, but said nothing.

"It's getting late," Megumi said after a long silence. "We should try to get some rest. I'm just going to say goodnight to Toshiniisama."

Kaoru nodded. "I'll go let the men know, and make sure they haven't broken anything." She tried for a smile, but the high probability of it having happened was enough to keep it from staying.


	3. Chapter 3

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten**

**(Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part III: Mirror

The men silently watched as Kaoru and Megumi left the room, Kenji still sleeping on the doctor's shoulder. They continued to sit in silence for long moments.

"Takanisensei," Kenshin spoke at last. "Please forgive the rudeness of our first meeting. We must confess that the circumstances discovered on our arrival were unexpected."

"What he means to say," Sanosuke growled, never having stopped glaring at Soushi, "is we didn't ever imagine we'd see the vixen sucking face with _you_, of all people."

The blush he'd somewhat restrained earlier flooded his face remorselessly. "I can't really say I'm sorry about it, although I am sorry you saw us," Soujirou said, his contrition genuine. "I certainly didn't want you all to find out this way. I'd hoped that we might sit down and discuss it, once we'd taken the time to get to know each other better… Well, really, for you to get to know me." He did not feign embarrassment, but his regret was genuine. "I'd hoped that you might give us your blessing."

"Our what?" Yahiko blurted. "Wait, wait… What?" He looked like he felt, and he felt like he'd just had a large building dropped on his head from high up. "Our blessing?"

Soushi nodded at the younger man, then exchanged a quick glance with his mentor. "Takanisensei has already given his. But I know how important all of you are to Megumisan, and how important she is to you." He assumed a position of supplication, all but kowtowing to the three men from Tokyo. "I want your permission to marry Megumisan."

"HELL no!" Sanosuke burst out, before anyone else could speak. "No way, no, forget it, not happening, keep dreaming!"

"Sano…" Kenshin's surprise at his friend's outburst was evident. "Perhaps we should retire for the evening and sleep on it?"

"That's not a bad idea," Toshihiro said.

"Once again, Takanisensei, please forgive our rudeness," Kenshin bowed to their host. "Semmaisan."

"Himurasan. Myoujinsan. …Sagarasan," Soujirou returned the courtesy and rose. "If you'd care to follow me, I'll show you to the room."

Toshihiro rose and began picking up the cushions as the others filed out, his mind whirling. This was not an unexpected development, but it was quite a lot of drama to happen all at once. ~Soushikun won't actually ask her until he knows that her friends approve. I know she's as afraid to move forward as he's been, but knowing my sister, if she finds out that this was the reaction… Well.~ Toshi huffed to himself. He had a feeling that whatever happened wasn't going to be pretty.

A footstep startled him, and he looked up to see the pretty young mother looking tentatively into the room.

"Himura Kaorusan, correct?"

"Yes. It is an honor to meet you, Takani Toshihirosensei. Please accept my humble apologies that our initial meeting was… well…"

"Awkward?" Toshi supplied with a wry grin. "Well, without knowing what happened – and believe me, I'm sure I'm happier this way – I'm fairly sure that it wasn't your fault. You are a teacher of kendo, is that correct?"

Kaoru confirmed it with a nod. "I inherited my father's dojo not long before I met my husband."

Toshi nodded. "My sister told me a lot about all of you."

"So you know Kenshin's past?" Blue eyes gazed levelly at the doctor; Kaoru seemed unruffled as Toshi nodded. "And it doesn't faze you at all?"

The older Takani sibling shrugged. "I know my own history, and my sister's. And I know that of my assistant, Semmai Soushi. You knew of him as Seta Soujirou. I welcomed him unquestioningly, though he had not yet achieved the balance your husband has. When he first came to us, he could as easily have fallen back into his old ways, but he didn't. How could your husband's past possibly bother me, in that light? The past is the past. I aim – we all aim, here, to look toward the future."

Kaoru blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected to hear that, much less in such a calm tone, from Megumi's older brother. "I… Thank you for that." The hesitation she'd felt at encountering the slightly older man faded. Her relationship with Megumi might not be completely smooth, but Toshihiro had a calming presence that Megumi lacked. "I actually came looking for Kenshin and the others, to let them know that Megumisan and I were going to try to rest."

Toshihiro nodded. "Soushikun showed them where their room is just a few minutes ago – just down the hall from yours. The room in the middle is mine, and Soushi will be staying with me," he reminded her.

Kaoru didn't bother to hide her smile. "I'd wonder who you're protecting the most," she said.

Toshi shrugged, returning the grin. "If you had to choose, would you?"

Not which, she noted, and nodded again. "I wasn't questioning it." Her smile faded. "It didn't go well, did it." The doctor blinked in surprise, and Kaoru shrugged. "Well, there's no question that there's something between Megumisan and Seta—that is, Semmaisan. They were… well." Kaoru's cheeks warmed; she was uncomfortable with what she had seen to begin with. Discussing it with Megumi's own brother was beyond her abilities, at the moment. Perhaps it would be different if they had known each other for some time. "It's very clear to me that Megumisan cares about Semmaisan, and I'm pretty sure he cares about her. And if he's been here for two years, and nothing has happened between them yet to make it official, then I'm guessing he wanted to ask permission to marry her from all of her family… And that would be us."

"Hmm." Toshi nodded, impressed. "You've got it pretty well down," he replied thoughtfully. "And you're right. I think the bakumatsu was easier."

Kaoru winced. "Oh…"

"Your friend Sagarasan went a bit ballistic and flat out refused to even let Soushikun finish speaking. I think Myoujinsan and Himurasan want to think about it some. At least they convinced Sagarasan to sleep on it."

The young woman shook her head sadly. "Back when we all first met, I think Sano had feelings for Megumisan, but when he came back, it wasn't long before he married Taesan."

"Do you think he still cares about my little sister?" Toshi's voice was low, but there was a harsh quality to it that made Kaoru blink.

"Takanisensei?"

"She's finally found someone who she can be herself with. She has someone who respects her, who understands her, and who isn't going to run off at the first sign of trouble. Someone who would rather see her happy with someone else if that was what made her happy, even at his own expense. My sister has been through too much. She deserves a chance at happiness. Who does he think he is to begrudge her that?"

She hadn't thought about it that way. "I suppose it is possible," she hedged. Then another thought occurred. "But I think it's more likely that he's never forgiven Semmaisan for what he did when he was Seta Soujirou. He nearly destroyed everything."

"Tell me what you know."

She sat, collecting her thoughts. "I suppose it began long before, but everything started for us on the Western date of May 7th, 1878." She told Toshi how Kenshin had been approached by Yamagata Aritomo on that date to face his one-time successor, who had been planning on taking on and destroying the Meiji government. She told of how a group assassins had taken the credit, but that the hand wielding the knife that had ended the Minister's life had been Soujirou's.

"This much I know already," Toshi said as the teacher fell silent.

"That was on May 14th. The day that he had asked Kenshin to give him an answer. With him dead, there was only one answer Kenshin could give.

"Even though the assassination was Shishio's idea, it was Seta's work that took Kenshin away from us – almost forever." She summarized briefly of how they'd first met Sanosuke, and then told of the conflict with Shishio Makoto and his followers in which she and her friends had been embroiled. She added information about how Kenshin had learned the final technique and obtained his new, stronger sakabatou. It took quite some time, during which she was surprised that they remained uninterrupted. "Kenshin had already fought Aoshisan when he went up against Setasan, and taken some damage. But it was Setasan who got him in the back."

Toshi waved a hand. "I know of the fights. Megumi's told me what she knew from the wounds she treated, and what Soushikun told me matches up. I have no reason to suspect his honesty." He sighed. "But I do understand why your friend Sagarasan feels as he does. If not for Seta Soujirou, it's very possible that Himura Kenshin might have stayed in Tokyo and never gone against Shishio Makoto. He might never have learned the final technique which began to leach his strength."

Kaoru nodded.

"But we would be living in a very different Japan. Everything happens for a reason, and I will swear it that Semmai Soushi is the man he should have been had Seta Soujirou grown up in a healthy environment. He is respectful, and above that, he is kind. He says he never enjoyed killing, and I believe him. His love of healing is enough proof of that for me, and his love of my sister is enough proof that he is strong of heart – if foolish," he added with a sudden grin.

"Takanisensei!"

"Toshi," came the reply. "Please, call me Toshi."

"Toshisensei."

"If I may call you Kaorusan?" At the young teacher's nod, he rose. "Then, Kaorusan, we have been talking for very long and it is very late. You should rest; I know I have a long day ahead."

"Thank you. Toshisensei." Kaoru rose as well. "I believe you, about Seta—about Semmaisan."

"He's a good kid," the doctor said softly. "And, Kami help him, he really does love Megumi. I hope your friend comes around, because the truth of the matter is, I'm afraid that she's the only thing that keeps his sanity strong. He's a naked blade, inside. She could be the sheath that holds his madness."

He did not understand why Kaoru looked at him in shock, nor was she about to tell him of her own husband's first wife. She was sure that even if Megumi had, the chances of her having used that phrase… ~It's an odd coincidence, that's all,~ she told herself.

Little else was said, and she withdrew shortly thereafter, begging exhaustion. Toshi watched her go, troubled, before dousing the light and returning to the clinic to finish his notes.

Several minutes later, Toshi looked up in surprise. He hadn't expected anyone to come to him in his office at such a late hour.

He was even more surprised to see the slight redhead in the doorway.

"Takanisensei."

"Toshihiro. Or Toshi," the doctor said, shaking his head. "My father was always Takanisensei. I… It's bad enough I have to take it from my patients," he said with a slight grin. "I'm certainly not going to take it from my baby sister's friends."

Kenshin nodded. "Toshisensei, then. This one understands you wanted to speak of a matter."

Toshi leaned back in his chair, studying the man before him. It seemed that Megumi had understated the case of just how perceptive this man was; Toshi decided to take a different tack from his original plan. Despite his urge to just pound the life out of this man who had broken Megumi's heart, he simply nodded. "You are good," was all he said.

Kenshin raised his eyes, his own expression slightly embarrassed. "This one does not know about what, but there is a suspicion…"

"Oh?" was all Toshi said.

Kenshin sighed. "You aren't going to make this easy. Of course you aren't," he answered himself. "Your sister is too important to you." He blinked suddenly, as an uncomfortable thought occurred. "Oro?"

Toshi raised an eyebrow.

"You're not planning to try to kill this one too, are you?"

"Too? Wait, what are you talking about?"

Kenshin shook his head. "Forgive this one, Toshisensei. Perhaps we should start again.

"This one understands that you are worried about your sister. She was hurt badly before meeting this one, and was very wary of men, though she would never show it. If anything, Megumidono could be downright scary sometimes." He rubbed the back of his neck, his embarrassment evident. "This one had already met Kaoru. It was never intended that Megumidono should be hurt. This unworthy one wishes she had never learned to care for him in that way," he said with raw regret. "Perhaps, if this one had never encountered Kaoru, or had met Megumidono first, it would have been different. Perhaps –"

"Stop lying," the doctor snapped. "There was never a chance you would have loved Megumi."

Kenshin bowed his head in acknowledgment. "You are very likely correct. How much do you know of her time in Tokyo?"

Now it was Toshi's turn to be taken by surprise. "Truthfully, not much. She doesn't speak much about what happened with you. She spoke of you often over the years, but rarely does she talk about what went on – or what didn't," he acknowledged. "All I know is that she loved you deeply, and somehow you broke her heart. Whenever she's come from visiting with you, she's cried herself to sleep for many days afterward."

Kenshin flinched visibly. What weapons words could be! Far sharper, they could leave scars deeper than any sword might ever hope to reach… It was one thing to have known it, even to have seen it in her eyes; it was another to hear it so bluntly. Toshi's anger was evident but he held it in check; he was clearly waiting to hear Kenshin's side of the story. So Kenshin obliged him. "How much do you know of Megumidono's past?"

"You mean the work she did under Kanryuu's torture, and the rescue by your friends? Or the time she spent with you?"

Kenshin nodded. "It's the time with us that matters, for this."

"True. Not much, really. She's spoken of things that happened, and of the time you left for Kyoto to fight an old enemy, which is how she didn't actually meet Soukun until he showed up here. He truly loves her, you know." The last was added with a bit of venom.

"If Megumidono is happy now, why are we having this conversation?"

"Because my sister isn't the only one who needs to be happy. She loves Soushi, and he loves her, but you are her friends, and the only other family she has besides me."

Kenshin nodded. "It is known that Megumidono wants this one's approval. It has already been given."

Toshi raised an eyebrow, then nodded acknowledgement. Still, he watched Kenshin for a moment before speaking. "Not just Megumi."

Thinking about it, Kenshin was quite impressed at the extent of the changes in Soujirou's personality. While working for Shishio, there was something of an impious impudence to the youth, a feeling that while he often behaved respectfully, there was little actual respect in him. Clearly, that had changed drastically. "Does Megumidono know that he has already asked us?"

"Heh. Probably not," Toshi admitted. "Considering how hotheaded my sister can get, do you really think she'd let him get away with it? We may be traditionally raised, but I believe my sister is of the opinion that as long as she has my consent, she doesn't need anyone else's. And that's more of a matter of form than anything else. If we hadn't found each other…"

"If you hadn't found each other, Toshisensei, Megumidono would not have sought anyone's approval."

"Then again," Toshi said, a bit harshly as his anger returned, "If we hadn't found each other, she might not have stayed here and never met Soushikun. She might never have gotten over you, and never needed anyone's approval.

"What's so special about you, that she cares for you so much?"

Kenshin blinked, far too startled to reply immediately. "This one has no idea," he said. "Only that it might be understood, considering the way Megumidono came into our lives. She was very much alone." He remembered the first few days after she had come to them, how she had looked at them, sometimes, seeing not the friends she was coming to know but the family she had lost… "This one has done her a great wrong, but there is nothing this one unworthy one can do to rectify that error. So many years have been spent in atonement for all the hearts stopped by these hands, but what can be done for the heart that is broken?"

Toshi shook his head. "I definitely don't get it. You're pretty dumb for a smart guy."

"Oro…"

"Sit down. When you rescued Megumi from that monster, she was completely alone, right? And there you were, coming to the rescue. She was a damsel in distress, and you were her hero, just like in those Western stories. She had a need, and you came and filled it – and surpassed her hopes. You treated her gently, and when she needed you again, you did not let her down. You not only went out of your way to avoid hurting her – and you were probably the first person to do so in, what, ten years? She loved you, at first for that, and then for yourself, though I can't imagine why. You're kind of scrawny, for one thing. Although, given your history, I guess there's more to you than there appears…" Toshi shrugged. "Anyway, that's beside the point. She loved you.

"Loved. As in, used to. Well, I suppose she still loves you and always will, but the nature of that love is changed. You… Weren't wrong." Toshi dropped his gaze to the floor. "As much as I hate to admit it, you weren't wrong. One cannot choose the direction in which their heart falls. You could no more help not loving my sister than she could help loving you, and everything was as the kami willed…" He raised his eyes to Kenshin's again. "But you cannot atone for breaking someone's heart. You can only give them their space, and be there when they need you, and not be there when they need you not to be. I'm not really angry with you, Himurasan. If anything, I'm angry with myself for not being there for her.

"I know it's ridiculous. I know there's nothing I could have done, but she's my baby sister! I remember when she could barely walk, she would follow me around, asking me about everything she could in her lispy little baby voice. She would toddle after Hideaki and demand that he play with her. I watched her grow into a fearless little girl, interrogating everyone about everything. She would sneak off to play war games with Hide when Mother and Father weren't looking. She would study from my old books, and run to me with every new lesson she mastered. She was so open and warm. She always smiled at everyone, always laughed at everything. Mother always scolded her that it wasn't ladylike, and she would just laugh some more.

"But now, this woman… I don't know who this woman is. She's my sister, but she's a stranger to me, too. In the fifteen years I didn't see her, my little sister saw horrors beyond imagining. She did things that great men would have died for, and she survived. The laughing little girl is lost inside this woman who still carries so much pain… How could I do anything _but_ regret not being there for her!"

Kenshin listened in compassionate silence. He hadn't expected this confession. Briefly, he wondered what it was about himself that encouraged people to bare their souls. "You're here now," he pointed out, "and have been for several years. It is true that what happened in the past cannot be changed. This one's own history is proof of that. Still, Toshisensei, you have been there for Megumidono, and done far more for her than you think."

The doctor snorted in disbelief. "I haven't been able to do anything for her."

"That's not true at all. Megumidono has a lot of hurt from which she is healing – but she is healing. Simply finding you has brought her so much happiness."

"She's my little sister, and she was alone for so long. I couldn't protect her from that Kanryuu guy. I couldn't protect her when our parents died, or when Hide disappeared. I couldn't protect her from you. I don't expect you to understand, but that's what big brothers do."

"Little brothers protect their sisters, too," Kenshin said softly.

Something in his tone reached Toshi; the doctor looked up. He realized that Kenshin was only a year or so older than he was, but the redhead's face looked so much younger. Looking at him, it was easy to forget that the slight figure standing quietly in his office had killed hundreds of men during the bakumatsu. This was the man who had been known as the Hitokiri Battousai, who had first been an assassin of the shadows before his name and face became widely known – and feared, and hated. "You have a sister?"

Kenshin shook his head. "No. There was a woman, some time ago, who was this one's wife. Her name was Tomoe. She had a little brother, who wanted to protect her…" He outlined the story softly, in a few brief sentences, for the man before him. "All Enishi ever wanted was for his sister to be happy. All he wanted was to see her smile," Kenshin said. "But even now in the new era, there's a lot that would take the smile from anyone's face. Every person deserves to find their own happiness, and that's not something anyone else can do for them. You can only be there when the people you care for need you, and help them the best you know how."

"Why the sword?"

"Oro?"

Toshihiro sighed. "You still wield your sword to protect others, though not as much as you once did, from what Megumi tells me. Why did you choose to continue to fight, instead of to become, say, a healer?"

Kenshin bowed his own head. "It was what this one knew. There is some knowledge of simple medicines, and emergency care for wounds, but the extent of knowledge and learning, the years of study it would take to become a doctor such as you or Megumidono do not interest this one that much. There is also the need. There will always be those who seek to dominate others, to use their strength to control others. There will always be those who use violence against those who cannot stand against such treatment. Someone has to protect them."

Toshi nodded. The silence stretched out as both men sunk into thought. It was not an awkward silence, despite its weight; each man had said several things that the other wished to absorb.

It was a long while before Toshi broke the silence with a sigh. "What a pair we are, huh? I've only just met you and I've gone from wanting to pound you into a pile of bloody pulp to pouring out my heart to you."

Kenshin returned his dry smile. "Under the circumstances, this one thinks that perhaps the former might have been preferable."

"You could take me easily, even now," Toshi acknowledged with a nod. "Although it'd get us both yelled at." They shared a grin.

"Look, Himurasan, what I said before… I think I've learned more about what happened to my sister in Tokyo after Kanryuu from you, now, than I have from her in the six years she's been here. I can understand why she wouldn't want to talk to me about it, and I want you to know that I'm not angry anymore. I'm not happy that she was hurt so badly, but I know it wasn't anything you did. For all I knew you had loved her and left her, and if you had, well, I would have had to kill you."

Kenshin nodded, understanding, as they shared another grin. "Then this one is especially glad he did not, as he has become rather fond of living."

"Good plan. And the important thing is, she's finding new happiness now… Maybe someday she'll even be back to the mischievous little terror she was when we were kids, or at least a more grown-up version."

"This one thinks Megumidono is much calmer and more cheerful by far since her last visit to Tokyo." ~Especially counting the time she fled there just a year ago, confused about the situation with Soujirou.~

"You're right, I'm sure. It's harder to see how someone changes over time when you see them every day.

"Himurasan, I want to thank you."

"Oro?"

"For listening, for finding her… For everything. And I want to apologize for judging you harshly without ever having met you."

Kenshin had to laugh at that. "Toshisensei, if only everyone who judged this one harshly did so as you have, this one would also be far happier with his lot."

"Are you unhappy?"

Kenshin shook his head. "Not anymore. It seems that all of the people this one holds closest to his heart have found their happiness."

"Toshiniisama, where are – oh! Kensan! I came to say goodnight. I didn't realize you were both here," Megumi said, having poked her head in the doorframe. "I'm sorry if I was interrupting."

"No, we were just finishing a conversation," Toshi said. He noticed that she was watching them, just as he and Kenshin had watched each other and Megumi not long before. He laughed aloud. "Did you say goodnight to Soushikun?"

Megumi gave her brother A Look. "Is that any of your business?"

Toshi rolled his eyes. "It's really nauseating," he complained to Kenshin as they walked to the living quarters. "They're so cute together. They even cook together. I can't bear to watch. I'm surprised the food isn't sweet enough to choke on."

Kenshin muttered something almost too softly for his companions to hear, something that seemed to be about not having to eat one's own cooking all the time. Toshi was confused, but Megumi only laughed, fox ears twitching merrily as she bid them both a good night.

.oOo.

Soushi was apparently asleep when Toshihiro crawled between the covers, and the doctor decided against waking him.

As it turned out, that was perhaps not the kindest decision; though Soujirou acted asleep, he was listening for all he was worth to the conversation taking place in the room that was normally his own.

"That has nothing to do with it!" Sano expostulated once again.

"We can keep guessing all night," Yahiko grumped, "and you'd say that no matter what. Just damn well tell us already!"

A meaty thud indicated Sanosuke's fist landing on top of Yahiko's head. "Watch your damn language, kid."

Kenshin returned to the room at that moment. "Maa, maa. Are you two still fighting over this? This one would like to sleep."

"Kenshin! Make him tell us why he's so upset!"

Kenshin sighed, looking levelly at his friend. "If this one had to guess, it would be that Sano is tired of the man once known as Seta Soujirou taking away the people that Sano cares about."

"But that makes no sense! Megumisan's been living here for years! And –" Yahiko stopped speaking at the expression on Sanosuke's face. Apparently, Kenshin had been at least partly correct. "Wait… Sano, you're married to Taesan! Don't tell me you still like Megumisan!"

An incoherent growl was the only response.

"Sano… He needs her. She needs him. He will keep her safe, and she will keep him sane. Soujirou has spent far too much of his life living up to the expectations of others. He needs someone who can help him find who he is, someone who will give him a cause. Someone who will give him shelter.

"Someone to do for him what was done for this one when he was Battousai… by Tomoe."

"Kenshin…" Sanosuke's voice was lower than usual. "How can you possibly compare him to yourself? That kid's nothin' but a cold-blooded killer!"

"It's easy, Sano. This one was not so different." He flashed a wry smile. "This one was losing himself when Tomoe appeared and restored his faith. Semmaisan was lost long ago. It was Takani Toshihirosensei who gave him a direction, but it was Megumidono who gave him hope."

"Kenshin, you know a lot about it for someone who only learned about it this afternoon," Yahiko said suspiciously.

"Forgive this one, but… It was not this afternoon." He sighed, and then Kenshin told them of the brief unscheduled visit Megumi had made, a year before, to her mentor.

"You knew all along!?" Sanosuke, who had seemed to have calmed down enough to think about it, didn't even try to keep his voice down.

"Not exactly knew," Kenshin hedged. "As of the end of the conversation, Megumidono hadn't yet made up her mind about what she was going to do. Sano, if you still care for Megumidono-"

"That's not it." Sanosuke growled. "I mean, I guess I care what happens to her, but I never thought she'd be stupid enough to go for someone so… utterly…" He case about for a word. "So evil!"

"Now there's an ironic statement," Yahiko quipped, "comin' from the guy who has it on his back to this day."

"You're the dumb kid who copied it," Sano replied without humor.

"Maa, maa. Enough, you two. Semmaisan is no more evil than this one."

"Kenshin, what the hell are you talking about?" Sano shook his head in disgust.

"Sano, do you remember what you thought of me when we first met?"

The taller man snorted. "Yeah. How could I forget? You were such a little shrimp, but your history… When those two idiots tried to have me go against you, all I wanted was the fight. I hated everything I'd been taught you represented. I hated everything about your past. You were nothin' but the Meiji government's cold…" He trailed off and stared at Kenshin, not liking where this was going, but forced to admit the truth of Kenshin's words.

It was Yahiko who completed the thought. "Cold blooded killer. The assassin of the shadows, responsible for hundreds of deaths in order to accomplish the goals of a politically ambitious leader."

Kenshin nodded. "And if this one can reform his ways, repent of his deeds and seek to atone for them, why could not Semmaisan?"

"But changing his name?"

"Don't even," Yahiko smirked. "Zanza."

"Touché," Sano muttered. "Although that wasn't a nickname I gave myself."

Yahiko shrugged. "Still, you gave up being known as Zanza when you gave up your old life. Why can't he?"

"Just think about it, Sano. We'll talk more in the morning. This one would like to hear Kaoru's thoughts on the matter, and Megumidono's as well."

"Of course she's gonna take his side, Kenshin. She's stupid over him."

Kenshin smiled. "You say that like it's a bad thing. Good night, Sano. Yahiko."

"Night, Kenshin."

"G'night, Kenshin!"

Soujirou strained to hear anything else, but except for some rather hearty snores after a while, there was nothing more to be heard. His mind spun as he tried to take in what had just transpired. ~Himurasan is supporting me!?~ Shocking as the revelation was, it soothed him and he eventually drifted off to sleep.

_[AN] It occurs to me that some of you may find it confusing how I switch back and forth between "Semmai Soushi" and "Seta Soujirou". For those who haven't figured it out, there is method to my madness; Soushi is the kinder, gentler version; Soujirou is the youth who was essentially raised by Shishio. Not unlike Kenshin, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle, but for our male protagonist, when the darker side appears, I use Soujirou. [/AN]_


	4. Chapter 4

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten**

**(Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part IV: Measure

Megumi awoke with a start, sensing something was different. Her eyes flew open and she relaxed again as her gaze fell on Kaoru and Kenji, both still sleeping soundly.

~That's right. They came for a visit, and instead of a peaceful few days…~ She sighed quietly and sat up. Careful not to disturb her temporary roommates, she dressed and made her way to the kitchen. To her further surprise, it was occupied.

"Kensan!"

"Megumidono," the redhead replied with a pleasant smile. "This one hopes you don't mind, but the thought occurred that it might be nice for you if someone else made breakfast."

"How did you know?"

"Your letters," he said without apology. "Kaoru finds it amusing that you complain about cooking for your brother and Semmaisan all the time." Kenshin lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "This one knows the feeling, but for all Kaoru's talents, her cooking is one that still needs improvement."

Megumi tittered. "I'd be tempted to go back to bed," she confessed, "but I've got to get started for the day anyway. There's never a real day off here, even when we don't have appointments scheduled. There are always minor accidents, the occasional illness. Once in a while, something more urgent comes up, but it's rare." She remembered the Ishioka baby then, and her expression sobered.

"What's wrong, Megumidono?"

"Nothing. It's nothing. Sorry. I was just thinking of an emergency we had some time ago…" She outlined for him the story of the tiny infant, holding on to life so valiantly, while she and Soushi did everything they could. "It isn't fair, Kensan. I can't save everyone. Really in the end, I can't save anyone."

Kenshin's eyes widened. Megumi had indeed changed; she would never have dared to show such emotion so openly even a year before! Frustration, anger, or amusement, yes, but despair? Even at the tower when they'd taken out Takeda Kanryuu, she had displayed a serene air. Now, though, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"It's hard, but…" And then a realization hit him. "This isn't about the child, is it, Megumidono? Is it about Seta – Semmaisan?"

Her face, hidden behind the curtain of her hair (worn down, he realized, and in soft waves from the braids she usually wore) jerked up and she met his eyes, startled. "Even now, you're so bad for the heart," she said softly with something that wasn't quite a smile. "Kensan… What if…" A thousand questions formed themselves and disappeared in the space of a moment; Kenshin read them all in her eyes. They all came down to one: "What if I'm not worthy of saving him?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Megumidono, don't discredit yourself so. Semmaisan clearly thinks very much of you. He believes you're worth changing for."

"But what if I'm not?"

Kenshin sighed. "Megumidono, stop. You are a good woman, and you deserve to find happiness. This one thinks you are definitely capable of far more than you believe, and wishes you'd stop being so unfair to yourself. If you are happy with him, then let yourself be happy."

"Kensan…" She stumbled the few steps toward him, blinded by the tears that fell freely as she gave in at last to the catharsis of release. Freed at last from the fear of loving someone else, from the complicated way she felt about Kenshin (which hadn't changed in depth, merely in direction), and from her own restraint, she flung herself against him as the sobs wrenched themselves from the core of her being.

Startled, Kenshin could only awkwardly put an arm around her shoulders, stroking her hair as he might have his son's.

Moments later, that was how Soujirou found them.

Relief filled Kenshin's features even as a cold stillness flooded through Soujirou.

"Semmaisan, this one is–"

"So, Himurasan," the younger man interrupted. "Is that how it is. So sorry to interrupt," he said, a cold edge to his voice Kenshin had never heard before.

Megumi drew back, her still-teary eyes alight with happiness. "Soushisan, Kensan said that he—"

"I don't really want to hear what Himurasan said, Megumisan. It's pretty obvious how happy you are with him." Dread and anger warred in Soujirou's heart. All he had needed to see was Kenshin's arms around the woman he loved… Kenshin, the man she had loved for so long. ~Clearly, there is no place for you in this after all,~ a cold voice echoed in his mind. "I'm sorry I was ever so stupid to believe that you cared for me," he spat the words and turned.

"Seta Soujirou," Kenshin's voice, soft and dangerous, cracked against the walls and seized Soushi by the spine. Confusion and fear were blossoming again on Megumi's face.

~Still always have to protect everyone from themselves, don't you,~ Kenshin mused to himself. "Megumidono's happiness does not rest with this one. Do not even think to try to take it away from her."

Sick rage gave way to uncertainty. "Huh?" A chillingly familiar smile made its way onto the young man's features. His control was slipping; the strength of his own emotions was reawakening in him his old habits. "What? Wait… what? Megumisan, I know you have…" He looked at Kenshin again, then his gaze returned to meet that of the woman he loved. "You've always had feelings for Himurasan. And even though it's not as common as it used to be, I'm pretty sure that concubines and second wives are still deemed acceptable." The venom crept back into his voice. "If that's what you wanted…"

Kenshin looked embarrassed, but he did not move to take a step away from Megumi, knowing that doing so would only make him look guilty in the younger man's eyes. His smile, however, was tinged with regret. "It is not that Megumidono is not an unworthy woman, Semmaisan. It is that this one has found his happiness, and believes that Megumidono is quite capable of knowing what she needs for herself. And what she needs is no longer this one." He didn't realize he added aloud, "Thank goodness."

"I heard that," Megumi said dryly, almost as quietly. She was not offended; he could see that as she turned her attention back to the other and took a tentative step in his direction. "Soushisan? Kensan was giving us his support."

"He – but – you were –"

"Kensan is important to me, Soushisan. But there's someone even more important than Kensan, more important even than my brother. And as important as those people are to me, it's very important that they approve of the person who is even more… important." She realized that she kept repeating the word, then realized that she didn't care. "And Kensan was just telling me that he wants me to be happy with someone whose happiness is extremely important to me."

"As far as this one is concerned," Kenshin said in his normal soft tones, "there is no reason you and Megumidono should not be together, and many reasons you should."

Soushi looked uncertainly from Kenshin to Megumi, who nodded.

In an uncharacteristic moment, Kenshin stepped forward and took Soujirou's wrist. Seizing Megumi's in his other hand, he tugged lightly at both of them until their hands were touching. As though of their own accord, their fingers intertwined with one another and Kenshin released their arms. "Now do you believe this one?" he asked, not bothering to hide his amusement at their befuddled expressions.

Soushi said nothing for a long moment, instead pulling Megumi close to himself in a protective embrace. She welcomed it, knowing he needed the closeness even more than she.

"What about Sagarasan?" he finally asked, just before the moment became really awkward.

"What _about_ that tori-atama?" Megumi said, drawing back enough to look at him.

"He doesn't exactly approve," Soujirou hedged.

"I'd gotten that impression," Megumi replied, "but what does it matter?"

~Caught!~ Soushi realized. He'd never intended for Megumi to find out that he had planned to ask permission of her friends all along. He didn't want to admit how much it mattered. But there might be one chance… A line from a poem he'd once heard translated from English popped into his head. ~The best-laid schemes of mice and men often go awry…~

"Megumisan… I've spent most of my life seeking approval," he said slowly. "First from the family of the man who fathered me, and then from Shishiosan. And then, Himurasan's opinion mattered. His words drove deeper into me than any sword ever could. I've been trying to find it inside myself to approve of me, but it… Well, it hasn't been easy.

"When I was little, and treated the way I was treated, I was afraid. When Shishiosan found me, I was afraid. But I learned to hide the fear, and to use it… For years, I hid my feelings even from myself. Then, when I was fighting Himurasan in the underground lair, for the first time in ten years, I began again to feel afraid.

"I wasn't afraid that I was going to lose. I knew that Shishiosan wouldn't think less of me if I did, so that didn't worry me. What scared me was how much this man cared about the people in his life. About people in general, even people he'd never met. He fought for all the things I'd never dared to hope could be mine – and that made me angry. I felt the anger, and it frightened me – I hadn't felt anger in so long. I hadn't let myself feel anything in so long.

"Now," and here, Soushi pulled Megumi close to him once again, "I know that it's okay to feel, that feelings are good. What I feel for you, what I feel when I'm with you, Megumisan, that's good too. But when I saw you just now…" Soushi looked at Kenshin. Soushi, and not Soujirou. "All I could think was that I'd lost you to someone you'd loved for a long time, and I wanted you to be happy, and I wanted…" He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"You wanted to die." Kenshin's expression was soft with sympathetic understanding. "If the most important person was gone, the world would be so much darker. But," he said, his tone and his eyes growing more firm, "not unsurvivable. Even if the one dearest to one's heart is no longer in one's life, there are others, other friends and family whose lives would be even darker if that one was also gone. This one does care for Megumidono, though not as she once hoped." Now his expression was apologetic.

But so was Megumi's. "I'm sorry, Kensan. I know I didn't exactly make things easy for you."

"No, that's true. Although it was certainly… interesting!"

"Soushisan," Megumi looked back to the man in whose arms she nestled. "Kensan has always been a good friend to me. It's hardly his fault that I'd once hoped for more from him. But there's something you should know." She glanced at Kenshin, hoping he wouldn't mind her revelation. "Before you and I became involved, when I was so uncertain, I returned to Tokyo for a day, and I spoke with Genzaisensei, and I spoke with Kensan. I told him that you'd found your answer, and what you said about how neither of them was right, how you took it further. Kensan was very impressed."

"And a little dismayed; this one is, as has been noted before, not a very forgiving man. This one is harsh, but never as much on any other as on himself, and when Megumidono relayed your thoughts…" He shrugged. "This one spent some time as a maker of small medicines, long ago. The skill with the sword was what was needed more, however. If this one could have lain aside the blade forever and lived a quiet life farming and making small medicine…" Regret touched his eyes and was gone.

"Why don't you help out Genzaisensei sometimes, then? I don't know how his new assistant is working out, but I'm sure he'd appreciate competent help."

Soushi snickered. "Since he lost the only other competent help he ever had?"

"Pretty much," Megumi agreed blithely, eliciting a chuckle from Kenshin. Soujirou had relaxed, and though the youth still held Megumi closely, there was less protectiveness in his manner.

"Why don't you let us handle breakfast, Megumisan?" Soushi asked, brushing her hair back from her face. "As much as I like it down like this… Go put your hair up and get ready for the day, and Himurasan and I will take care of everything here."

"Are you sure?" she said softly, looking from one to the other.

"I promise I'll behave, Megumisan."

"Since when do you not trust this one?" Kenshin said at the same instant Soushi spoke.

They all laughed, and Megumi reluctantly disengaged from Soushi's embrace. "Just don't blow up my kitchen," she chided teasingly as she left.

"Himurasan?" The uncertainty was back in Soushi's eyes as he looked at the man who had reached him so long ago when he had believed himself sealed away.

Kenshin studied the younger man for a moment. "Semmaisan, have you ever known this one not to keep his word?"

"That's true."

"This one gives his word that there is only the desire for Megumidono's happiness with you to be everything this one has found and more. Conversely," he added, no humor in his tone or expression at all, "should this one find out that any harm has come to Megumidono or her happiness, there is no promise that the oath once made will be as strictly observed."

Soujirou met Kenshin's eyes with equal intensity. "If any harm comes to Megumisan because of me, you probably wouldn't make it in time. You're not the only one who's hardest on himself, Himurasan."

Kenshin nodded, and after a moment, they broke gazes. "So, what shall we make for breakfast?" A moment ago, a different man had stood in the room. Not the murderous, unstable hitokiri, but the full master of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu and defender of a lifestyle that Kenshin had become. Now, however, there was just a silly, slight, redheaded rurouni with an innocuous expression and a lighthearted smile.

"Heh. I don't think I could ever pull off what you do, Himurasan. Ever since I started feeling again, I'm an open book." Soushi smiled ruefully as he rummaged through the pantry, pulling out the makings of a hearty breakfast for ten.

Kenshin merely shrugged. "That's no bad thing. Megumidono would see through any façade sooner or later, and then there's no end to it until she finds out everything." He made a face, and the two men laughed.

"Don't I know it," Soushi replied, and they prepared breakfast in companionable silence for several minutes.

Somewhere during the preparation, the two found themselves engaging in an impromptu vegetable chopping contest, which they eventually agreed was too close to call.

"Himurasan?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

For a moment, it looked to him as though Kenshin was going to play naïve, but then the redhead nodded. "Sano is not going to be so easy to convince," he said conversationally.

"I had that feeling," Soushi replied as blandly. "Why does he still hate me so? I thought you guys were all very forgiving to reformed enemies."

"Heh. It comes more easily to some than others. Sano hated Megumidono for quite some time in the beginning."

"Because of the opium."

"Exactly." Kenshin looked up from the tray he was preparing. "Perhaps this one is partially to blame. The others could have been told of Megumidono's relationship with you sooner."

Soushi shook his head. "I think that wouldn't have helped much, considering how… Well, how you first saw us."

Kenshin allowed the other man to pretend that the redness of his cheeks was from the warmth of the fire as he suddenly bent over it. "That was a rather definitive way of announcing your intentions, no matter how inadvertent," he couldn't help teasing. He relented, however, when he saw the twitch of Soujirou's arm, as though the man wanted to reach for the sword he no longer carried. He remembered the feeling; he himself had been no different when it had been Tomoe under discussion and the teasing had come from those who knew him better. So many years since…

"Her happiness is everything to me," Soushi admitted. "More than Toshisensei's approval, more than Shishiosan's praise ever meant. When she hurts, I hurt with her. When she smiles, nothing in the world is too much to handle. Watching her work is seeing a goddess perform miracles."

Kenshin raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He had never expected such flowery sentiment coming from the Tenken. Then again, he was finding it hard to reconcile the passionate young man before him with the unfeeling killer the youth had been only a few years before. ~But then, I'm hardly the person to talk. Those who knew me during the Bakumatsu would never believe I'm the same person, either.~

"I don't _need_ anyone's approval. I know Megumisan cares, even though she says she doesn't. She's the one who really needs to know that you're okay with us. But for her happiness, I'd do anything." Soushi stopped arranging the breakfast tray and looked to Kenshin. "As long as I can be with her, I'm happy, but I know she won't be truly happy if she thinks that you guys don't approve. You know Megumisan sets great store by her family. Even," he grinned, "the tori-atama."

Surprised to hear Megumi's favorite epithet coming from Soushi, Kenshin smiled back. "Perhaps if you tell Sano what you just told this one, he might not be so hostile."

Soushi stared at him in consternation. "You make it sound like it'll be easy."

Kenshin shook his head. "This one never said that."

"Heh." Soujirou took one heavily laden tray and led the way. Kenshin carried the other to the common room where Toshi, Megumi, and Kenshin's family waited. Yahiko entered just behind them.

"Sano said he's not hungry. Looks like he's planning to sleep in," the teenager commented as he reached for a rice ball.

"Yahiko!" Kaoru chided. "It's bad enough you do that at home. We're guests here."

Toshi laughed. "It's fine. He's a growing boy."

"He's not growing so fast that he has to be rude," the woman replied, still glowering maternally at Yahiko.

"Man, you are really one annoying mother." Yahiko rolled his eyes and bit into the pilfered onigiri, savoring it deliberately.

"Everyone, please feel free," Soushi said. Little conversation followed as the six adults dug in. Kenji wandered from his mother's side, occasionally taking food from his father's plate only to run giggling back to Kaoru.

"Your son is so cute," Soushi said, smiling as the toddler approached him.

"Doll," Kenji said as he held a little figurine up to show Soushi.

"That's right, doll!"

Unable to resist, Megumi smiled down at her "nephew". "Actually, it's called a netsuke, Kenji. Can you say netsuke?" She gave Soushi a teasing look. He grinned back.

Kenji looked up, a shy grin on his face. "Neshuki."

"Very close. Very good," she said smiling happily at the toddler, who giggled. "Want to try it again?"

He nodded.

"I'll say it with you. Ne…" Megumi prompted.

"Ne…" Kenji echoed softly.

"Tsu…"

"Shu…"

"Ke."

"Ke."

"Netsuke," Megumi said slowly.

"Neshuke," Kenji lisped proudly.

"He has been having trouble forming some of the harder sounds," Kaoru said worriedly.

"He's doing fine," Toshi reassured the young mother as he watched his sister. "He seems to be otherwise healthy and happy. Some children learn to speak sooner than others. You need to encourage him to communicate verbally more, if you're worried."

"I know his problem isn't vocabulary. He sure picked up some of his uncle Sanosuke's favorite words pretty well," Kaoru grumbled.

That provoked laughter, and if Kaoru or Yahiko had any further reservations about Soushi and his relationship with Megumi, neither of them seemed to feel they were enough to interfere.


	5. Chapter 5

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten**

**(Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part V: Maelstrom

After breakfast, Megumi announced that she would be heading into town to do some shopping. Her brother stepped outside to open the clinic, but promptly stuck his head back in just in time to hear Soushi offer to accompany her.

"Sorry, Soushikun, but I'm going to need at least one of you this morning. Problem is, we are low on some of the herbs we need; Neechan, if you could add the apothecary to your list?"

Megumi nodded. "I was already planning that. Sorry, everyone, but I'm afraid we're not going to be very exciting company this morning."

"That's all right," Kaoru said, wiping her son's face. "Yahiko and I should keep in practice; Kenji loves to watch, so that should keep him out of your way."

"If Sano is sleeping in, this one could keep you company, Megumidono."

"And help her carry," Kaoru said. "That's a good idea, Kenshin. Megumisan, do you by chance need tofu, salt, soy sauce…"

"Yareyare… Always the heavy things," Kenshin muttered, and they all laughed.

"Some things never change, I see," Megumi said dryly.

"In that case, we'll be in the clinic," Soushi said as he followed Toshihiro out.

Megumi showed Kaoru and Yahiko to the back of the clinic, where there was a small yard in which they could practice and Kenji could play. Kenshin went to check in on Sanosuke, who was (as he had suspected) not at all asleep. The tall young man lay fully dressed atop his futon, his arms were crossed over his chest as he glared at the ceiling.

"Come on, Sano. What did that poor ceiling ever do to you to make you glare so much?"

"Kenshin." Sanosuke sat up, eying his friend warily. "How the hell can you take this all so calmly?"

"Take what?"

"That Guy!"

"You mean Semmaisan?" Sano's glare focused on Kenshin, who sighed. "Sano… It is as this one said. He is not the man we faced in Kyoto. And though it is not this one's place to speak of such things, he truly does love Megumidono. It seems that he will not proceed without approval from all of us, and she's getting a little irritated with waiting."

"What? The Fox, impatient? Shocking." Sanosuke rolled his eyes.

Kenshin chuckled a little. "Megumidono can be very patient when she chooses. Although it's true you do bring out a different side of her." Sano snorted his disdain. At least hear them out."

"Fine. But only because you asked, Kenshin." The younger man rose.

"Toshisensei and Semmaisan are in the clinic. This one has offered to accompany Megumidono shopping. Why don't you come along too? Perhaps you can speak to her about your concerns."

"Without anyone else around but a mess of strangers and you?" Sanosuke thought it over. "Wait, you're not buying all the heavy stuff again, are ya?"

Kenshin shook his head, amused. "Not this time."

"Then sure. Why not?" Sanosuke didn't look happy, but Kenshin suspected that wouldn't change until he was utterly convinced of Megumi's well-being.

They emerged moments later to find Megumi looking worried, a basket on her arm and her medicine box in her hand. "Slight change in plans; there's an emergency. It's not far and I shouldn't be long."

Sanosuke and Kenshin made sympathetic faces. "We can walk with you, and wait," the latter offered.

"If you like, but I need to go now," Megumi said, heading for the door.

The two men followed, easily able to keep pace despite her increased speed. She explained briefly as they walked; Momoyama Masayori, a seven year old child, had "the falling sickness" and had just had an episode. His older brother had come to fetch the doctor; though there was little they could do to prevent a seizure, the doctors all wanted to monitor him carefully. All three did research on the syndrome when they could, trying to find some way of helping to reduce the attacks before they killed the boy.

Kenshin and Sanosuke waited outside when they arrived at the Momoyama home. "She hasn't changed that much after all," Sano observed.

"Actually, she has," Kenshin noted. "She's much calmer than she used to be. She seems happy."

Sanosuke shrugged and made a noncommittal grunt. Periodically, Kenshin would try to start a conversation, which attempts Sano often deflected. Eventually, Kenshin gave up, and they sat against the wall of the house, waiting. The sun was high overhead when Megumi finally emerged.

"Sorry to take so long. This was a bad one," Megumi said softly. "Let me buy you lunch, and then just two quick stops. I feel terrible making you wait so long."

"It's all right, Megumidono."

"Especially if you're buyin'," Sano quipped with a grin.

"You haven't changed that much after all," Megumi sighed, unconsciously echoing Sanosuke's words about herself and not understanding when the men laughed.

She took them to a noodle shop nearby. They ate in relative silence. Megumi was involved in thinking about the Momoyama boy's condition; Sanosuke was watching her, trying to get a sense of who she was now. Kenshin watched them both.

"I'm not being a very good hostess today, I'm afraid," Megumi said after a while.

"It's okay, Fox. You've got a lot on your mind right now. And, uh, I know I ain't been makin' it easier on you." The last sentence came out all in a mumbled rush, bringing Kenshin's and Megumi's eyes to bear on him in mild shock. Sanosuke reddened and shrugged.

"That's very sweet of you to say, but –"

"No buts," Sano cut her off. "Look. I don't like him. I don't like that you're with him. But you're not as dumb as I look," he quipped, "and I know that there's gotta be a reason. I don't like it, and I don't really trust him, but I'm gonna give him a shot."

Irritation flashed, but Megumi quelled it quickly. "That's – Thank you." She colored slightly. "He's far from perfect in many ways. He's still more scarred than almost anyone else I've ever met, but he's kind to me."

"More than kind," Sano rolled his eyes, grinning lasciviously and managing to glower at the same time.

"Not that it's any of our business," Kenshin chided, not hiding his grin.

"I guess we've all changed," Megumi said. "Kensan, you're calmer too."

The redhead shrugged. "Time and happiness have a way of doing that for a person. Even one who isn't sure that the happiness is deserved."

"You're not on that again, are you Kenshin?" Sano groaned.

"This one was not referring to himself."

"Oh. Sorry. Hey, Fox? Thanks for lunch." Sano stretched. "Not as good as home cooked, but since it was free…"

"Don't push your luck." Megumi rolled her eyes and the three continued their banter as they went through the market, then turned their steps toward the apothecary and home.

"You don't have to come inside," she said. "I'll only be a moment. Why don't you keep walking and I'll catch up?"

The two men nodded, resumed talking, and continued their walk in the direction of the clinic at a more leisurely pace. Though it was the middle of the afternoon, not many people were about.

Four men went into the apothecary's shortly after Megumi. Kenshin and Sanosuke took notice, but didn't see anything particularly worrisome; from what they heard and saw, the men were drunk and looking for a headache cure.

Sanosuke resumed telling his story but hadn't gotten very far; a woman's scream came from the apothecary's and was cut short. Shouting and chaos erupted and a moment later, the four men burst from the shop, no longer acting drunk. One of them carried a bloody knife.

Kenshin and Sanosuke started after them. They had almost reached the door when Megumi stumbled out, shaking and clutching her abdomen. The lavender fabric of her kimono was dark beneath her hands, and the stain was visibly spreading.

"They… They killed him. Just… Just killed him, like…"

Sanosuke cursed as they stopped to catch her before she fell. "Kenshin, take her back to the clinic."

"Sano…" Violet eyes were dark and flashing.

"Kenshin, you're unarmed, and you can't exactly go borrowing a sakabatou from someone. If you're that worried, send the kid. But the vixen needs help now." Sanosuke's voice was rough with myriad emotion. "I'll herd 'em towards the police station."

He hated it, clearly, but Kenshin saw the wisdom in his friend's words. Megumi was bleeding and in shock. Carrying her would not do him much good, but it wouldn't do him nearly as much harm as fighting, as long as he didn't use the speed of the hitokiri he had once been.

"Don't worry. I'll try not to kill 'em too much," Sano said as he took off in pursuit of the men who had fled at their approach. Kenshin swept Megumi up carefully and made for the clinic. The thing that worried him about Sanosuke was he wasn't quite sure how much the former gangster was kidding.

The clinic was not far, and it didn't take him long at all to arrive with Megumi, who was deep in shock. She was too distracted to be able to provide sufficient pressure to the wound, and he knew that she needed attention immediately. The bleeding was bad but not itself serious; it was the shock which worried him more. He hesitated to call for help and alert everyone, but was saved the dilemma by Toshi and Soushi's emergence from the clinic.

"Himurasan?" Soujirou's eyes widened as he saw Kenshin's burden. "Megumi!" Her name tore from his throat, raw and urgent.

"There was a robbery at the apothecary. They killed the herbalist; Megumidono was inside. Sano went after them; I need Yahiko."

One glance at her was all he had needed. She looked so pale, so frail… Something snapped inside him. His voice emerged calmly. Too calmly. "Toshisensei, please take care of Megumisan. Forget Myoujinsan. I'm going." Soujirou moved quickly, darting to the living quarters to retrieve the blade he used for practice. It wasn't a particularly good sword, but it was serviceable. "I can be there long before anyone else," he said. He raised one foot, tapping his toe to the floor a few times in an increasing rhythm; the look in his eyes struck an all too familiar chord in Kenshin's mind.

"Senmaisan!" Kenshin's cry had no effect; Seta Soujirou disappeared even as his name was called. He knew the area better than they did. He was faster. Kenshin had little doubt that he would find them. It was what would happen when he did that worried him.

One look at the former rurouni made up Toshi's mind. From what he knew of the man, Himura Kenshin would not hesitate to endanger himself in the name of protecting others. "Himurasan, I'm going to need your help. Megumi, can you hear me?" Toshi held the clinic door open for Kenshin, who brought her inside and set her on a bed.

Megumi raised her head. "Soushi…"

"Memichan, it's me. You're home, sis. You're going to be okay. Himurasan and I are going to do everything we can." He began to cut away the bloodstained obi.

"No…" Megumi moaned a dazed protest.

"Megumidono, you've been stabbed and you're in shock. We can all help if you're worried about buying a new obi," Kenshin said with a faint smile, trying to be reassuring. He itched to be away, to go after Soujirou and stop him, to stop the men who had hurt Megumi… To stop Soujirou from doing so.

Toshi exposed the wound. It was bad, but not as bad as they had feared; the heavy fabrics had served to protect her from the worst.

Trying to fight off the shock, she looked to Kenshin. "Soushisan… He's going…"

"Yes." Kenshin nodded, believing he understood her fears. "He'll be all right. They won't be able to hurt him."

"I'm going to need to stitch this up," Toshi said. "Memichan, you need to stay still. I know it hurts. It's not that deep, but there's a nick in the vein. If I don't…"

"Go," she whispered, her eyes locking with Kenshin's. "Kensan… Soushi…"

"Sano went after them. Perhaps…" But he didn't finish the thought. He was surprised at how much effort it took to keep the calm façade.

"Yahiko," she said definitively. "He has…"

"The sakabatou, yes," Kenshin said. "Now stay still and let Toshisensei work."

"Go get your young friend," the doctor said. "We'll be okay here; maybe Kaorusan can help." He briefly met Kenshin's glance. They were both thinking the same thing: if Soushi's still somewhat tenuous control had slipped, Kaoru should not be exposed to the results.

Kenshin moved quickly; his appearance in the small courtyard stopped the practice immediately.

"Kenshin, what's wrong?"

Quickly, he summed up the situation and gave Yahiko the direction he needed; the youth took off. Kenshin made as though to follow as Kaoru picked up Kenji and held him close. "Kenshin, is she going to be all right?"

"Yes." His eyes spoke many things that he did not say.

"Then… Is he?"

Kenshin sighed heavily. "This one… cannot say."

Kaoru looked at him, worried. "Stay here with Kenji, then; I'll go help with Megumisan." Thrusting their son into her husband's arms, Kaoru left the two redheads staring at each other.

"Poopy," Kenji said solemnly.

"This one feels exactly the same way," Kenshin muttered as he took the toddler inside to be changed. He marveled at how expertly his wife had maneuvered the situation; there was no doubt in his mind she'd known exactly what she was doing.

.oOo.

Sagara Sanosuke was no weakling, and was not above fighting dirty himself, but the criminals he was chasing had two advantages: they knew the area much better than he did, and they had the advantage of numbers. They realized it belatedly, much to his relief, and didn't think to split up until he almost had them cornered.

And then out of the blue, a soft voice called out, "Stop."

One look told Sanosuke all he needed to know; ice seized him from inside.

~That's the Tenken.~

Barely had the thought registered when the blue-clad killer leapt lightly from the rooftop; his voice had stopped the four, his eyes held them. Seta Soujirou didn't even register Sanosuke's presence; he only saw the four who had hurt Megumi. They had hurt the woman he loved… His one link to sanity.

"You shouldn't be here," Sanosuke tried.

"You might not want to stick around, Sagarasan," Soujirou said lightly. "No telling but I might not notice if you got in the way." The light in his too-bright eyes was not sane. The sword he held with the comfortable grip of an experienced killer did not waver.

"Semmai Soushi, don't do this!" All Sano could think about was what would happen if the four were killed.

"They hurt Megumi," said the deceptively smiling youth. "They can't be allowed to get away with that." His foot came up, tapping the ground with the toe of his sandal.

One of the criminals – obviously not one of the brighter lights of Aizu – cocked his head. "Hey, ain't you that doctor kid? Doctors can't kill!"

"Shut up!" one of his friends said, smacking him across the back of the head. "Look at his eyes!"

"Bah, he's all talk. He's just upset cuz we hurt his woman," chortled the stupid one.

"That's right. She's the only person that matters in this world, and you've hurt her." As the tears began to flow freely, Soujirou's voice cracked through the air. "And now you'll pay."

"NO!" Even as the word tore from his throat, Sanosuke knew it was too late. He stood frozen as the four men were cut down in less time than it took him to react. His own breathing came rapidly as the dust settled and blood began seeping from the death-wounds the thieves had taken. A slight figure reappeared, blue-clad and white-faced.

Soujirou stood amid the carnage and observed what he had wrought. The bloodied blade hung limply from his hand. As Sanosuke watched, the unnatural light left the tear-filled brown eyes to be replaced by raw horror.

He took a step closer to hear what Soujirou was muttering.

"Oh… Kami… Megumisan… What… What have I done… What have I…" The litany stopped abruptly when Soushi fell to his knees and was violently sick.

Sanosuke stood awkwardly, hesitant to leave the scene, but doubly nervous about being caught there by the police. "Hey. You gonna be okay?" Sano asked, when the retching finally seemed to have stopped.

For answer, Soushi's eyes met his, then rolled up as he collapsed.

Yahiko appeared just in time to catch him. He surveyed the scene quickly, then his eyes met Sanosuke's. "This is bad."

The taller man could not stop from shaking his head. "You can say that again."

"The police are going to want an explanation."

"They won't get it from us," Sano said as he lifted Soushi's unconscious form over his shoulder. "Grab the sword." He headed straight for the clinic, struggling to understand what he'd just witnessed.

More than anything else, he feared for Megumi.

.oOo.

It was a matter of a few minutes for Toshihiro to stitch up Megumi's injury. "It's a relatively minor laceration; the damage to the vein was just bad luck. You're going to be just fine, Neechan. Just take it easy for a few days."

Kaoru had come in and was helping him clean up. "Come on, Megumisan. You should lie down for a bit. You're still in shock."

She had remained quiet during the procedure, but now she shook her head again. "You don't understand. Soushi… His eyes…" Her own begged her friend to understand, pleaded with her brother to think about his protégé.

"Wait." Surprised, Kaoru looked up at the doctor as he moved back to stand in front of his sister. "Megumi… I know. I know what's going to happen if Myoujinsan doesn't get there in time."

"Kenshin's with Kenji," Kaoru said. "I couldn't… I couldn't let him…"

"No," Megumi agreed. There was nothing they could do now; she tried to relax and let them lead her to her futon.

"There's nothing we can do until they come back," Kaoru said as Kenshin came into the room.

He carried Kenji, who squirmed to get down at the sight of his mother. Sensing the distress of the others in the room, the toddler clung to her knee and looked up at her with large eyes full of innocent concern.

"It's okay, baby," she said softly, lifting him to her hip. He rested his head on her shoulder and she rocked slightly, as much for her comfort as his own. Kenshin watched them tenderly for a brief moment.

"Kenshin… I'm sorry."

"It's all right. This one understands." He made a face. "This one doesn't like it, but you're right. While this one could handle himself without a sword, it's a distinct disadvantage. Yahiko can handle Soujirou if it comes to that."

"It didn't." Sano entered, having followed their voices, with Yahiko just behind him. He lowered Soushi to another futon which the youth set out for him as the others looked on. "Kenshin, we've got a very big problem on our hands." His expression was grim as he raised his eyes, unable to meet Megumi's.

_[AN] This is where things get complicated... er. Please don't hate me... Yet anyway. Our friends have been through worse. [/AN]_


	6. Chapter 6

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten**

**(Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part VI: Meltdown

Soushi had curled up into the fetal position as soon as Sanosuke had set him down, and lay there, staring into a distance no one else could see. He didn't respond when Toshi examined him, looking into the youth's eyes. "He's in very severe shock. His pulse is way down and he's freezing. Sagarasan, would you be kind enough to get blankets please?" He held up a hand to forestall any further discussion. "I don't want to know what happened yet. After I'm sure he'll pull through physically, we can worry about the rest."

"I'll get the hot water," Yahiko said. "Maybe hot compresses would help?"

"Good idea. Thank you."

Megumi sat up painfully. "Soushi," she whispered.

The man cringed at the sound of her voice as though struck.

They all saw it.

Megumi turned her face from him, and from the others.

"Megumisan, why don't we go into the other room? You could use some hot tea, I think," Kaoru said in an attempt to console her friend. She would find the details out later; she suspected Megumi would not benefit from hearing what had happened after her removal from the scene. "I'll help you fix your hair, if you like."

Megumi did not answer, but she rose and left the room, keeping her face turned away from the men. Kaoru followed, Kenji clinging to her shoulder, with a nod to Kenshin.

Yahiko returned as they left, handing the doctor the steaming towels he'd collected and setting the heavy kettle down carefully. Sanosuke was just behind him.

"Jouchan lookin' after the Fox. Who'd've thought it," Sano said, but his attempt at a smile fell flat.

"It would be funny, in other circumstances," Yahiko conceded. "What the hell happened before I got there?"

Any trace of amusement that might have remained was gone from Sanosuke's face immediately. "Kenshin, you first. How is she?"

"She's shocky, but coming out of it. The injury was small. There was damage to a vein, but Toshisensei stitched it quickly. Physically, Megumidono should be fine…" At the sound of her name, Soushi had flinched again. Kenshin's lips tightened into a thin line of worry. "She's very upset. Witnessing the apothecary's murder is what shocked her so badly. This one believes that no small amount of the shock is due to the similarities between that and Kanryuu's murder of her former shishou."

Toshi nodded. He tucked the last of the blankets around Soushi's shivering form before moving the kettle nearer his patient's feet. He used one of the hot towels to wipe away the drying blood from Soushi's face. "That would do it. She's a lot better about her past, but you can only push a person so far…" He looked as grim as the rest as he sat back. There was nothing he could do now but monitor Soushi's condition. "Now, I want all of you to tell me exactly what happened out there."

"Megumidono had gone to check on a patient this morning, and we accompanied her. It took longer than she expected, so she took us for lunch. After stopping at one of the shops, we went to the apothecary. Megumidono said she'd only be a moment."

"She said we should wait outside," Sano took up the narrative. "We figured it was no big deal. While she was in there, these four thugs went in." A flicker of something that might have been a sardonic smile passed over his face as he said "thugs". "We figured they were drunks lookin' for a hangover remedy, but then we heard her scream.

"They took off, and she came out lookin' like death. She was bleeding, and she said, 'They… They killed him. Just… Just killed him, like…' And then she keeled over."

"Sano went after them, and this one brought Megumidono back." Kenshin's expression clearly indicated his dissatisfaction with the very idea. He was more than a little annoyed that his friends were manipulating him so readily – and so often. Not that they were wrong, he admitted to himself, but still.

"These guys weren't real bright, but they could move. They kept me running for a while. They'd just started to split up when…" Sano gestured to the former killer under the blankets. "Tenken showed up."

Kenshin's eyes closed involuntarily.

"Tenken…?" Toshi glanced at Soushi's unresponsive figure. He cursed softly. "That's got to be why he's freaked out."

Sanosuke nodded. "I tried to get him to stop, but he'd gone completely nuts. He said that they were the guys who had hurt 'the only link between him and sanity', or something, and before I could even blink, they were nothin' but smears."

"I tried to get there," Yahiko said, clearly upset with himself. "I should have been able to stop him. If I'd only been a bit faster…"

"No." Sanosuke shook his head. "He was usin' that shukichi stuff."

"Shukuchi," Kenshin corrected absently.

"Yeah. That. Nothin' could have stopped him. Sorry, Kenshin."

The redhead waved it off. "Not your fault." His own smile was apologetic.

"By the time I got there, it was all over. He'd gotten sick, and collapsed."

"He kept sayin' her name, and asking, 'What have I done?' He was… It was worse than the first time, when he fought you," Sanosuke added.

"This one should have been there." Kenshin's expression was darker than they'd seen in years.

"No. Megumi needed you," Toshi said. "I may be her brother, but you were the only one who could reach her; just like you were the one who saved her from herself before." He was as furious with himself as the others.

Someone made a disgusted noise as he entered the room. "And are all of you going to sit around feeling sorry for yourselves, or are you going to do something about it?"

"Nobuokun!"

"I came by with news of my own, but obviously this isn't the time. Megumisensei was with a friend in the kitchen; they told me you were in here. What's going on? And what happened to Soushisan? He looks as bad as he did when I first found him."

"You don't need to know the details," Toshi said, "but he's had a very severe shock. A setback, actually," the doctor admitted reluctantly. "My sister was injured slightly but she's in shock. Soushikun… He's in bad shape."

Nobuo's eyes widened, then narrowed and his jaw hardened; in the past two years, he'd grown quite a bit taller and broader. Now he seemed to hover as he glanced down at Soushi again.

"He didn't touch her," Yahiko reassured the newcomer. "It was an unrelated incident."

At that, Nobuo relaxed slightly, concern returning to his features once again. "So. I don't really care what happened. All I see is four guys sitting around feeling sorry for themselves because they couldn't stop something from happening.

"It's in the hands of the gods. You can't change what is, only how it turns out. So what are you going to do about it?"

Four pairs of eyes stared in amazement at the youth. "You really have grown a lot in the last year, Nobuokun," Toshi said admiringly. "You do your family proud."

Nobuo waved a dismissive hand, his cheeks flushed. "Nah, you know, sensei, it's partly thanks to you too. But that's not the point."

"What CAN we do about it?" Sanosuke looked at Nobuo. "You probably won't want to hear this."

"Yeah," Yahiko agreed. "The less you know, the better."

Nobuo's eyebrows went up, but he nodded. "I'll come back in a few days. Send for me if there's anything I can do," he said with a bow.

"He's a good kid."

Yahiko made a soft sound. "He's a man. Like me."

"You're too quiet, Kenshin," Sanosuke said, ignoring the byplay.

"He's right. The problem is, the enemy is not one that can be fought with swords."

"That's never stopped you before, Kenshin," Yahiko said with vigor.

"Well, that is true, but this time it is this one's friends who are involved, and when the fight is against one's own self…"

"There's not much we can do for him until he comes out of it," Toshi said, worriedly watching his patient.

"Just Me—just the Kitsune," Sano said, having seen Soushi flinch again when Nobuo – and earlier, Kenshin – had mentioned Megumi's name.

"I just hope that this doesn't destroy him OR them," Toshi said softly.

.oOo.

Megumi curled her fingers around the cup, staring into it as though it held answers. She hadn't said much, but after Nobuo's interruption she had fallen into complete silence. Kenji abandoned his mother's side and went to Megumi. She lifted him up to her lap with a small smile.

"Megubasan is ok?"

"I will be, sweetling. I just had a really bad scare. It's like when you have a really bad dream."

Kenji nodded and rested his head against her shoulder. The slight weight and warmth in her arms helped to calm her almost as much as the unquestioning love and trust in the child's gesture.

Tears rushed to her eyes, escaping when she closed them.

"No cry, Megubasan."

"I'm crying because I'm happy you're here with me, Kenjikun."

"Me too."

Megumi smiled over his head at Kaoru. "Kensan makes good babies," she teased.

Kaoru only smiled proudly back. "Yes. He does, with a little help."

The two women laughed softly. They could not talk freely about what had happened, but Kaoru knew enough.

"It's going to get better, Megumisan."

"I hope you're right."

"He'll be okay."

"Don't say such things, Kaoruchan. Not when you don't know if they're true."

Kaoru began to say something else, but the heaviness in her friend's eyes stopped her. She sighed softly. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Absentmindedly, Megumi stroked Kenji's soft hair. "My brother won't let me do much for the next few days, until he's sure that I'll heal without a problem." Her vague expression flickered with annoyance, which Kaoru took as a good sign. "It's hardly more than a scratch. I'll heal just fine!"

Kaoru had to stifle her smile at Megumi's vehemence. She sounded so indignant, more annoyed at the injury than anything else. She'd never doubted the woman's resilience! She only hoped it wasn't a façade designed to hide the deeper hurts… She'd hoped Megumi had finally gotten past that.

The older woman was still talking about her brother's concerns. "It isn't as though there's any real chance of infection, now. Not that he's wrong, I suppose. Any wound needing stitches isn't really to be trifled with, but it's hardly anything. It certainly shouldn't keep me from my duties!" All her indignation ran out at once. "And besides… He's going to need me more than ever now. We'd both gotten used to having – to having another pair of hands around."

"Megumisan…" Kaoru wanted to murmur platitudes which she knew were probably untrue, and which Megumi would not appreciate. But she herself wanted them to be true. Yes, Seta Soujirou had been a twisted killer, but he had changed. Just as Kenshin had. And, like Kenshin and herself, Soujirou (no, Soushi, she must remember to think of him as Soushi) was building something with Megumi.

Had been building, she sighed to herself. Even if Megumi could move past Soushi's break, the question was whether or not he could.

Right now, he was curled up on a futon in the fetal position, silent and cringing and white as a sheet. Physically, though he had taken no injury, the shock alone was putting him in very grave danger. Ultimately, it would come down to whether or not he could forgive himself, whether he could reconcile what he had done with what he had become.

Suddenly, Kaoru stood up. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Megumi had barely time to blink and nod assent before Kaoru all but bounced out of the room with whatever idea had prompted her.

Kaoru could barely stop herself from bursting into the room. "Kenshin! Come here a second?"

"What's wrong?"

Kaoru gave him a look, as though to inquire why he bothered to ask.

"Is Megumidono all right?"

"She's okay. At least, I'm sure she will be. She seems to be less upset now. Kenji is with her."

Kenshin studied his wife. She didn't seem worried; if anything, she seemed to be subduing excitement. He sighed to himself. Sometimes her ideas were brilliant, but sometimes… Well, there was only one way to find out.

She turned to face him when they were halfway down the hall. "Kenshin. I know you're not going to like this, although probably not as much as Sano or Yahiko isn't going to like this, but I want you to hear me out. Please. It's for Megumisan, and for him. And maybe a little bit for you, too. When Soushisan is better, I was thinking that maybe you could train him."

"Oro!"

"I don't mean swordwork, exactly. I mean… Whatever it was that your shishou did for you, Soushisan needs someone to do for him. He's never had the chance that you did. He never had someone who could teach him how to deal with the separate sides of himself. All he's ever learned was how to kill, and later how to be a doctor. He's never had a chance to learn to be himself. You said it yourself, Kenshin, he's a lot like you in some ways. He needs what you had. Kenshin, if there's any way that he's going to get through this, he can't do it alone."

Kenshin nodded slowly. "And he's terrified that Megumidono hates him. He cringes every time he hears her name, or her voice."

Kaoru sombered. "Oh. That's bad. Kenshin, that's very bad." She raised her eyes to her husband's again. "Will you do it? Will you teach him to fight with a sword that doesn't kill?"

Kenshin was the one to look away this time. "This one swore that Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu would never be taught to anyone else. Shishou may not like the idea, but this one is not going to break an oath."

It was a long moment before Kaoru spoke again. "That's… Kenshin, I understand, but… isn't there something you can do?"

"This one will not teach that style." His gaze on hers was compassionate but resolute. "Even if this one's body could handle it."

Then Kaoru shook her head. "You don't have to teach him the techniques. Just the ideas… He needs to learn Katsujinken."

"Then why don't you teach him?"

Kaoru stared at her husband, openmouthed. He turned to leave her in the hall like that, smiling quietly to himself.

But she wasn't finished with him.

"Kenshin, wait. I can't teach him, because I never learned satsujinken. What he needs isn't just the philosophy. He needs…" Kaoru bit her lip, trying to find the words. "He needs to know that there's a way to reconcile the two, and that he's strong enough to do it on his own."

"It's true that Yahiko said that Soushisan said something about Megumidono being the only link he has to sanity…" Kenshin sighed. "This one understands that all too well." There was something wistful in his expression as he reached out toward his wife, brushing his fingers against her cheek. "If you weren't there, more than once this one would have lost touch with reality."

Kaoru's eyes shone as she caught her fingers with his and pressed them against her face. "Kenshin." She treasured the moment briefly. Without letting go, she sighed. "Kenshin, we have to do something."

To her surprise, Kenshin shook his head. "This one will talk to him when he recovers, but the strength to fight one's darker urges has to come from within. If he does not have that strength in him after all…" He closed his eyes, leaving the thought unspoken. The Tenken could not be allowed to run loose, even on the side of justice. Granted, the four men had been murderers and would have eventually succumbed to a similar punishment, but the time for assassinations was past – or so Kenshin hoped.

And if he could not be contained, the Tenken would have to be taken down. Permanently.


	7. Chapter 7

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten**

**(Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part VII: Mediation

_~The rain was so cold. A coppery tang, the cloying scent of blood, overpowered even its cleansing aroma. The blade was heavy in his small hands. There was only one source of heat: the tears burning their way down his face, disguised by the rain.~_

Semmai Soushi shot awake, crying out a soft protest.

"I'm here, Soushikun," a soft voice reassured him. His eyes locked on the doctor's lean form, the calm eyes, the gentle expression that was not a smile. Slowly the nightmare cold receded, and Soushi realized he was in a safe place.

"To-Toshisensei." As reality began to penetrate, Soushi dropped his eyes, no longer able to look at his mentor. "I… I failed."

"Failed?" Genuine concern mixed with the confusion in the doctor's voice.

"I lost control. I've killed again. I swore I would only heal, and instead I killed again." He could barely speak above a whisper. "I'm not worthy of your path."

Toshi sighed. "Soushikun, I won't lie. What happened is very bad all around, but I'm more worried about you."

"Worried about me?"

"You've been in shock, and barely conscious. It's been three days."

Soushi's dismay might have been comical in other circumstances. "Three _days_!? How – how is…" He choked on her name. ~How could she not despise me? I'm no better than _they_ thought.~ "How is your sister?"

Toshi studied Soushi's face intently. ~Well. That's definitely not a good sign.~ "Megumi is fine. It was hardly more than a scratch. I put in one stitch because I was nervous about the nick to the vein. I am her big brother, after all."

"I'm glad," the youth choked out.

"Then why do you look so miserable?"

"I truly am glad she's all right."

Toshi waited, saying nothing. The silence began to grow heavy on his shoulders. Still, he waited.

"I have to leave, though."

It took a moment for Toshi to absorb that. "Oh?"

"Yes," Soushi whispered. "I can't stay here. I don't belong here. This is a home, a place of healing. Not a den of killers."

Toshi snorted softly; praying his approach would work. "And how do you think healers learn their arts, more often than not? We don't dissect live patients, that's for sure!"

"But you don't kill them, either."

"Usually not on purpose, anyway." The doctor's expression was wry but not unforgiving.

Soushi blinked, startled into looking up again. "What?"

The elder Takani's expression shifted again, becoming almost harsh. "Soushi, no one is perfect, no one is infallible. Dwelling on what happened isn't the way to fix it."

That was when Soushi shook his head. "It can't be fixed. Sensei, it's been years. Seven years since I last wielded a blade like that. Seven years ought to have been enough time to stop killing whenever it seemed like the thing to do at the time!"

"It still sometimes seems like the thing to do at the time," said a new voice from the doorway. "Only my boss won't let me have any fun."

Toshi looked up at the newcomer. ~So this is the man they meant.~ Framed in the doorway, leaning cockily against one wall with a lopsided grin and eyes to match, was a tall blond.

"Chousan?" Soushi's mouth formed the name, but no sound came out. He tried again.

"Yeah, it's me. In the flesh. Surprised?"

Soushi could only nod.

"Yeah. Me too. They said something happened and you needed help." Chou shook his head. "I don't know what they think I'm supposed to do."

"There's nothing you can do, Chousan." Soushi slumped back into himself.

"Hey, it's been seven years!" Chou affected an injured expression. "And this is how you greet an old friend?"

The sound Soushi made was expressive. "We were hardly ever friends, Chousan."

Chou cocked his head thoughtfully. "Yeah, that's true. You were a creepy little brat."

"You're one to talk?" riposted the other.

Toshi sat quietly, watching the byplay with mild amusement. Inwardly, though, he was absorbing every word. Soushi's attitude had not changed, though the mere fact that he was responding gave Toshi some slight hope. ~If this guy can coax him back to himself even a little bit…~

"I was never as scrawny a brat as you were," Chou scoffed.

"No, you were just a big creep. I've never met anyone as obsessed with something as you are with swords."

"Yeah," Chou said, his smile indeed creepy at that moment. "So. Wanna tell me what happened, kid?"

Immediately, all the vitality drained out of Soushi. "Starting from when?"

"Well, it's been seven years and never a word. Suddenly you turn up here? Even I don't believe that much in coincidence."

Soushi sighed. "Perhaps not," he said softly. "It is possible that everything that occurred has done so for a reason."

"Whoa, what's with the sudden shift? A minute ago, you sounded like your old self, and now you sound like an old guy! Specifically, a very annoying old guy I know." He snorted his disgust.

"A lot has happened in the last seven years, Chousan." Soushi looked up at his old acquaintance. "You were already out of harm's way when Himurasan fought Shishiosan. After I fought Himurasan, everything changed for me. The wall I'd spent ten years building shattered. Suddenly I was an eight year old kid again, overwhelmed by feelings I didn't really like or understand. Everything I'd known until that point had suddenly become meaningless. I know you wouldn't understand, Chousan. You live too much in the moment."

Toshi noted the flicker of emotion on Chou's features even if Soushi did not; nonetheless, the blond remained silent.

"That's not necessarily a bad thing. I was like that, too; everything was as it came, and I just didn't care too much about anything except getting better at what I did. Whether it was following Shishiosan's plan, or kenjutsu, I just wanted it to go well. I didn't want to care about anything. I didn't want to feel the way I did when I was a kid. I didn't want to have to lie anymore… But then I came up against Himurasan, and he forced me into the realization that I had been lying all along."

"To yourself?"

Soushi looked up in mild surprise at Chou.

"What? I can't come up with something insightful once in a while?"

"Heh. Once in a while is okay, I guess," Soushi quipped weakly. Chou snorted indignantly. "But yeah, to myself. Turns out no one can deny their emotions forever…"

"Yeah, who'd imagine?" Chou's tone was dry but not entirely unsympathetic. Toshi did his best to remain invisible. He listened as Soushi told Chou how he'd been found at the end of his resources by Nobuo and brought to the clinic. He told Chou of his medical studies and his decision, encouraged by his mentor, to keep his hand in should his skills ever be needed to defend the clinic. He left out how he'd walked in on Megumi in the bath the day she'd returned after his arrival, but admitted brokenly that he'd slowly been developing a relationship with her.

Chou interjected a few comments, not bothering to hide his surprise that "such a hot number would notice a scrawny kid like you."

Toshi was not quite able to restrain himself. "That 'hot number' happens to be my sister." He glared.

Chou shrugged nonchalantly. "Sorry, doc," he said, in such a tone that said he clearly wasn't. Toshi continued to hide his smile. "So what happened?"

"I broke again. There was a robbery, and the apothecary was killed. Megumisan was there, and she was injured. It wasn't anything serious, but she was in shock… She was so pale. I was afraid she was dying, and I couldn't… I couldn't let them get away with hurting her. I couldn't live without her. I couldn't be the person she's made me want to be."

Chou expressed his opinion of that statement in no uncertain terms. "Do you honestly believe that your entire personality hinges on one person? Just because Shishiosan screwed you up in the head so bad you were seeing your own eyeballs doesn't mean that one person should have that much power over you." Soushi blinked at that; so did Toshi. Chou was far from finished. "Kid, lemme tell you something. No one can make you be anything. Your problem was you never had time to find yourself by yourself. That's why you went wandering, right? Then along comes a hot babe, and suddenly you're finding out that you're the kind of person you think she wants you to be. Okay, fine. But did it ever occur to you that maybe she's incidental?"

Toshi flinched inwardly; he doubted that his sister would take well to being called incidental! Still, the blond's words were dead on, and he had tried several times over the last two years (though far more delicately) to try to tell his protégé very much the same thing.

"Maybe this is who you really are, but how are you supposed to know that? You shoulda stuck to wandering," Chou spat with disgust again. "At least I'm doin' something useful with my life."

"You still work for the police only because you never did manage to get out from under Saitousan's thumb," Soujirou said darkly.

Chou shrugged. "I work for that bamboo-curtain-head because it's interesting, after all. And I still get to play with my swords."

Soujirou snorted. "You and your swords." He slumped again as he remembered his situation. "I hate swords. I wish I'd never touched one!"

"If you hadn't, you'd be dead by now." Chou's tone was casual, his expression unconcerned.

"I don't care!"

"Don't you?" Toshi found his voice. "I know of a few people whose lives would be much lonelier without you, and much harder."

"And much longer."

"You can't know that." Toshi sighed. "With this one exception, have you ever made the deliberate choice to take a life of your own volition, and not on someone's orders, or acting out of desperation?"

Soushi was silent. Toshi and Chou exchanged glances as the moment stretched.

"And if you think about it," Chou said at last, "it wasn't like you just decided to kill them. You were acting to protect someone."

"That doesn't make it right."

"No," Toshi agreed, "it doesn't make it right, but it makes it understandable. The problem, I think, isn't so much that you killed, but that you killed blindly. The solution, then, would most likely require finding a way to harness those instincts and direct them differently."

"You say that like it's easy."

"You managed for seven years."

Soushi made a derisive sound.

"Surely in the last seven years since your fight with Himurasan, something has happened to push you past the limits of your tolerance. You can't tell me you stayed completely out of trouble for seven years."

"Well… No," Soushi admitted. "But nothing's ever pushed me that far. There was never anyone who needed –" he faltered. "Who needed me."

"You were going to say 'protection', weren't you," Toshi asked dryly.

"That's part of it… But really, I'm the one who needs her. I feel a need to protect her, even though I know she doesn't need that kind of protection. I want to shield her from all the evil in the world. And yet, here I am, one of the greatest evils there is." There was a rising undertone of hysteria in his voice; his eyes, which had been dull with despair, shifted rapidly as though he sought for an escape.

"You are not evil," Toshihiro began vehemently, but Chou's snort cut him off.

"Evil? You? Not hardly. Once, I might've agreed with you. Now? You're as soft in the head as that redhead. Get over yourself, kid, and think about what your stupid attitude is puttin' her through."

Toshi, not normally a spontaneous sort of person, had to quell the urge to embrace the blond stranger. ~Thank you,~ he thought as hard as he could in Chou's direction. ~Thank you for saying what needed to be said, by someone to whom he just might listen…~

But Soushi was shaking his head. "She's better off without me."

Chou shrugged. "Probably, but I bet she doesn't think so."

Soushi didn't answer.

"Look. You've been out of it for three days. Try talking to her."

The youth's expression darkened. "She hates me. She has to."

"Why?"

He gestured wildly around the room. "She's not here, is she?"

"You are the one who cringed every time her name was mentioned around you, or you heard her voice," Toshi pointed out as gently as he could. "She's stayed away since, because she didn't want to make it worse." He decided not to mention that Megumi had all but moved into the clinic and was immersing herself in practice; even her guests barely saw her unless they went to see her.

"Talk to her." Chou glared at his former colleague. "Hiding from her is only gonna make it worse for both of you."

"I…"

Toshi cut off the half formed protest by rising. "I'll go get her. Chousan, why don't you go say hello to Himurasan or something?"

The blond grumbled but did as the doctor recommended – inasmuch as he left the room. He ensconced himself in the room next door, however, planting himself with every intention of eavesdropping.

He was hardly alone, as Sanosuke and Yahiko were already there.

Yahiko nodded a greeting. "Kenshin and Kaoru are on the other side," he said unrepentantly.

"What a bunch of busybodies," Chou said without shame.

Moments later, they all heard Megumi's hesitant step in the hall.

_[AN] Yay! Chousan is back! Sorry. I just adore him for no fathomable reason. I think it goes back to the end of the Kyoto arc, where he said what he had to in order to keep Kamatari from succumbing to despair… Ever since I did the (anime-based) story wherein he and Megumi nearly had A Thing, I've sought excuses to bring him back one way or another. They're hard to find… [/AN]_


	8. Chapter 8

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten**

**(Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part VIII: Monitored

It felt as though ages had passed, though in truth it was only a few days. She had not even dared to look in on him lest he awaken, see her, and suffer a relapse. Megumi steeled herself as she walked down the hall, taking deep breaths and trying to keep her expression neutral.

So many emotions warred within her, fear and hope foremost among them. More than anything she wanted to run to him, to feel his embrace, to hear his voice murmuring softly into her hair… But that would not happen. Not until he recovered from the shock he'd brought upon himself. She feared he wouldn't – and if she had to be honest with herself, on some level she also feared him. ~But if he had reverted to the Tenken, it wouldn't torment him so… Would it?~

She allowed only a slight smile as she entered the room. "Soushisan?"

"Me… Megumisan…" He tried for a smile in return. His nervousness was evident.

Still standing by the door, she waited a moment. "May I come in?"

"Yes… Yes, of course. Please come in," he stammered slightly over the words.

She took a few tentative steps inside. "How are you feeling?" she asked finally. He looked, quite frankly, like hell; the dark circles under his reddened eyes stood out in sharp contrast with his unusually pale skin. His hair was unkempt and she had the urge to offer to comb it out for him, as he had done so for her on many occasions. She found it soothing, but did not know how he would react in his current state.

"I'm…" He had been on the verge of saying he was fine, but he could not bring himself to voice the polite lie. "Megumisan… I'm scared."

She ached to hold him, and fought it, afraid of upsetting him further.

He saw her begin to reach towards him, saw her hesitate. He flinched.

~He's utterly repulsed by me.~ The hurt showed in her eyes, but Soushi, flinching, missed it. She had no way of knowing that he was thinking the exact same thing.

A sudden flash of memory gripped her; since when had she ever let a man's evident fear of her frighten her off? Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to try… "Would you like me to comb out your hair?"

"That would… be nice," he said slowly.

Megumi picked up a comb from the dresser nearby. "I always find it soothing when you comb mine," she said. "Yours will be easier. It's shorter." She smiled again, still uncertain even as she came closer.

"But not as soft," he replied.

"Your hair is plenty soft," she said as she knelt behind him. She untied the disordered ponytail and separated out a handful of hair, running the comb through the strands. She continued that way in silence for a few minutes, both of them treasuring each other's presence in the fragile moment, neither sure of the other.

"Aren't you going to ask what happened?" he finally ventured.

"I know what happened," she said in the same soft tones she'd used when discussing his hair.

"I killed four men."

"Soushisan, you've killed a lot more than four men in your time," she replied matter-of-factly.

"I thought you were dying. I could only think that they'd hurt you…"

"As you see, I'm perfectly all right." She tried to make it sound reassuring, instead of speaking with her usual acerbity.

"Don't lie to me. You don't look like you feel much better than I do," Soushi said with a wan but genuine smile.

"No," Megumi admitted. "I suppose neither one of us has rested properly these last few days…" The iron control of the physician was all that kept her from throwing her arms around him and crying her heart out.

Several more minutes passed. Those sitting in the flanking rooms were getting antsy when Soushi broke the silence again. "Are you avoiding it?"

For a moment, Megumi stopped brushing as she debated whether to feign ignorance or make light of the situation. "Soushisan… It can't be avoided. It happened. So far, the police don't know anything. As far as they've figured it out, it was a rival gang who then left the area." She took a deep breath. "My brother tells me you want to leave."

"I can't stay here, Megumisan, even if the police don't know; I know. What if I can't control it? What if something happens again? Megumisan, I couldn't stand it if anything were to happen to you! Especially if..." Though he left the thought unspoken, it hung heavily in the air between them. ~Especially if it were my fault.~

~Control… I must hold on to my control.~ Her eyes stung and her throat was tight, though she kept her tone light. "Well, I can't promise that nothing will happen to me. I can't very well live under a glass jar and still heal people, can I? But no one is forcing you to live by Kenshin's rules. No one is saying you must swear never to take another life… But perhaps you might consider learning a little more about a situation before you act," she said, now putting in a touch of the acid in her voice. ~Coddling him won't do any good. He needs to know that nothing has changed.~

"But doesn't that conflict with the oaths of a doctor?"

Megumi sighed. "Well, there aren't many doctors who are masters of the sword as well. Usually there isn't enough time for a person to learn both, as for most people, either one means a lifetime of study." Amusement touched her voice as she added, "You, Soushisan, are hardly most people."

Soushi closed his eyes as Megumi resumed brushing. "I don't deserve you."

"Hmm. Probably not, but I'm afraid it won't be so easy to get rid of me," Megumi replied with most of her usual sass.

Soushi reached up and took hold of her wrist. "I am very glad to hear that," he said huskily, pulling her towards him.

Surprised, she lost her balance and fell sideways, but he caught her and pulled her close. His kiss was urgent, needing the affirmation of her response.

It was given freely, with only a soft exclamation of surprise. His body pressed against hers with an unfamiliar passion. Megumi's mind reeled at the suddenness of it. Never had he been so assertive with her, and to her surprise she found she liked it. It would be so easy… Too easy.

They both pulled back at the same moment.

"Oh, Soushi… Your hair… And after I just brushed it," she said with mock severity.

"Megumi, I want…"

"Shh. I know. Me, too. But… Well, for one thing, you know as well as I do that we have listeners." They smirked at each other knowingly. "Nothing is secret or sacred in this house, or the other. For another…"

"For another, we do need to talk," Soushi said. "But I think I want a bath first."

"That would not be a bad thing," Megumi said. "I'll go heat the bath for you, and when you come out, we can go outside and talk."

"Without company," Soushi added, at a slightly higher volume.

"We were only worried about you both," Toshi called back, somehow managing to grumble with a raised voice.

Soushi's laugh was a bit shaky as he and Megumi disentangled themselves, rising. He offered her a hand, which she accepted, and he pulled her to her feet and into his arms for a brief embrace. "I love you so much," he whispered fiercely before he released her.

Her eyes widened as she looked at him. For so long, they'd had an understanding. There was never a question of how they felt for one another, but never before had he said it in so many words.

"Soushi…"

But this time he smiled and shook his head. "Bath first."

"I'll go heat it," Toshi called again from the next room.

Unable to stop themselves, Megumi and Soushi exchanged exasperated glances and burst out laughing.

"My brother is so good at killing the mood."

"We're going to have to find him someplace else to live," Soushi agreed.

"I heard that!" Toshi's voice carried in to them as he passed the room on his way outside, leaving Kaoru and Kenshin behind him, both embarrassed and amused. Megumi and Soushi followed him out.

In the other room, Yahiko turned to Sanosuke, who wore a distracted expression. "So. Still think he's going to do something to hurt her?" Chou had slipped out of the room around the time the lovers had commented on the lack of privacy around the house – an unusually discreet move for the blond.

"He already did," the tall man growled.

Yahiko rolled his eyes in frustrated exasperation. "He made a mistake. A big one, yeah, but you've done some pretty stupid things yourself. I wonder how much you'd actually owe if Taesan ever decided to call in your tab?" He smirked. "Pretty sure it would be enough to support the entire dojo for a month."

Sanosuke had the grace to look embarrassed as well as annoyed.

"And if it came down to protecting her, wouldn't you kill someone if it were necessary?"

"Of course I –" Sano stopped himself and thought for a long moment. "Well, truth is… Not if I could help it. That Kenshin, he's kinda rubbed off on me after all these years," he said with a rueful smirk. "I don't know, but if it was Tae's life on the line… Yeah, I probably could. It ain't like I've lived a lily-white life.

"But don't ever let me catch you thinkin' about it, kid. You ever need someone killed, you come to me." The grin that twisted Sano's features was full of regret and utterly without humor.

"I'll keep that in mind." Yahiko's answering grin was only somewhat less pained. "But I don't ever plan on needing anyone's help. I've learned from the best, after all!"

"Heh. You have, at that." Sano's grin was all ego.

"The only thing I ever learned from you was how to mooch off people," Yahiko teased.

"Well, I am the best!" Sano grinned, then pretended to rethink his pride. He wasn't ready to discuss his feelings on the subject of Soujirou and Megumi, and mock-scuffling with Yahiko had always proven an effective distraction.

Kaoru and Kenshin chose that moment to join them. Kaoru looked inordinately pleased.

"What're you grinning about?" Yahiko couldn't resist teasing his teacher.

"It looks like everything is finally going to work out for Megumisan! Isn't it, Sano." Though her smile never faltered, there was no mistaking Kaoru's tone.

They all saw his guarded expression as soon as she spoke. "Look. I'm not the same kid I was. I get that he's changed, too. But even if you forget who he was, look what's gone on since we got here! What makes you so sure he's not gonna do something that'll drag us all back down some kinda crazy spiral?"

"What makes you so sure he is?" Kaoru asked. "None of the rest of us have."

"But the rest of us have Kenshin around to keep us in line." Yahiko grinned at his embarrassed friend.

"Well, we could just leave him here for a while," Sano grinned. "After all, better the fox's cooking than Jouchan's, ne?" He ducked the flung bokken easily – just in time to intercept the path of the second she'd flung immediately thereafter.

"It wouldn't be fair to impose on Toshisensei's hospitality," Kenshin said reasonably. "Besides, I don't think it would do any good for Megumidono or for Semmaisan for this one to be hovering all the time. They were doing just fine before we came. It was only after our arrival that all the problems arose," he added more thoughtfully.

"Kenshin, you don't think it's our fault do you?" It was clear that the thought had never occurred to Kaoru.

The redhead shrugged. "This one does not think that any blame can be assigned. But…" A brief shadow passed through his eyes. "This one does not wish to have anyone so completely dependent on him. Certainly it was never intended, and this one certainly never planned on becoming a matchmaker." His expression wry, he brushed his wife's bangs away from her eyes briefly.

"I hardly think Megumisan sees you as her matchmaker, Kenshin," Kaoru said with something close to a giggle. She sobered quickly. "But I wondered what would have happened if you two hadn't been there when the apothecary was attacked." Unconsciously she drew her kimono closer around herself.

Kenshin met her eyes. "This one does not believe Megumidono was in that sort of danger."

"If she had been, they wouldn't have left so quickly," Sanosuke pointed out. "They probably wouldn't have just stabbed her and left. I'm pretty sure the police would have responded quickly enough, and…" He did not finish the sentence; they all knew how it ended.

If the police had arrived, Megumi would have been treated for her shock and questioned before being brought to the clinic, the criminals would likely have been apprehended, and that would have been the end of it.

"We did make things worse," Kaoru said softly, her eyes filling with sadness. Silence fell over them for a moment.

"Hey, where's the kid?" Sano suddenly asked.

The distraction worked; Kaoru's eyes cleared. "He fell asleep in the clinic, curled up in one of the cabinets. It's the cutest thing, he's sticking his rear up in the air and everything!"

Amused, Sanosuke shook his head. "Why don't you go check on him, Jouchan? If he wakes up without you, he'll probably be upset, or get into some kind of trouble."

"Hmm. You're probably right," she said as she left the room, trying not to appear as though she were rushing.

"She sees right through you, Sano," Kenshin said with an amused grin.

"Hn?"

"You could have just said you wanted to talk to this one alone."

Sano snorted. "Just worried about the kid is all. And what about the broomhead?"

Yahiko shook his head, not bothering to hide his own grin. "I'll go make sure he hasn't hacked anything up."

Kenshin's own smile faded with Yahiko's footsteps. "So what's really on your mind, Sano?"

"Dammit, Kenshin. What if Jouchan's right? What if we really did make it worse for her?"

Kenshin studied his friend for a long moment. The tall brunet was agitated, but not grasping for control. "Sano, do you still love her?"

The question came out so low that Sanosuke wasn't even sure he'd heard it for a second. "What?" The younger man's surprise at the question was genuine as he stared at his friend. He sighed. "Kenshin, I love my wife. As odd as it may seem, I think we're good for each other. Me and the Fox… We'd've killed each other a long time since. There's always a part of me that's gonna care about her," he admitted softly, "but not the same way."

Kenshin nodded understanding.

"You never forget your first." Sanosuke sighed softly. "Even if it's unrequited," he added wistfully.

Kenshin nodded again. "This one is sorry, but the question had to be asked."

"Jouchan put you up to it?" At Kenshin's embarrassed shrug, Sano cracked an unrepentant grin. "Yeah. We're whipped."

"This one is not," Kenshin muttered with the embarrassed disgruntlement of one who knows he is lying through his teeth, and that everyone else around knows it too.

Sano merely laughed. "It ain't so bad, Kenshin. Could be worse, anyway. Could you imagine what it would've been like if one of us had ended up with the Kitsune?"

His smirking laugh faded quickly, however, as his offhand remark brought back to his mind the situation. "Heh. Suddenly I'm a lot more sympathetic to… What's he call himself now? Semmai Soushi?"

Kenshin nodded. "This one does not think that our presence made the situation worse, but it's true that this one also wonders how the incident would have been different had we not been involved."

"Yeah, but Kenshin, if not now, it could have happened at any time. Maybe it's better that it happened now, so you – I mean, we could help with damage control?" Though his expression was thoughtfully innocent, Sanosuke's eyes sparkled with mischief. Kenshin did not miss it. He muttered something under his breath.

"Kaoru must need help with Kenji," was all he said aloud. He entered the clinic moments ahead of Megumi, who looked more than a little overwhelmed.

Sanosuke watched him go, sliding back down the wall into thought.

_[AN] Y'know, I'm not really one of those people who demands reviews on everything I post, but I don't object to them... at all... ^n_n^; [/AN]_


	9. Chapter 9

**Unmei no Haguruma: Jiten**

**(Wheel of Fate: Rotation) **

Part IX: Musings

Megumi expected to be alone when she retreated to the clinic, hoping to have a few minutes to absorb what had just transpired. Soushi's very intensity had taken her by surprise. While she admitted to herself that she was far from disappointed, his admission of love had been quite unexpected.

~It's so… Un-Japanese,~ she mused to herself. ~Admittedly, I'm the last person to fret about tradition. A woman doctor isn't exactly the most common sight in Japan.~ Her thoughts continued in that direction as she entered the clinic proper.

She was startled when she came across Kenshin watching Kaoru in her office as the worried young mother was trying to coax a now awakened Kenji down from his adopted post atop one of her filing cabinets. The child was giggling at Kaoru's fruitless efforts and obvious frustration.

Megumi shook her head. "You're doing it wrong." Ignoring Kaoru's indignant expression, she looked up at the toddler. "Kenji, if you would like something sweet, you're going to need to come down from there."

"Okay, Megubasan," he piped cheerily, and leaned forward towards her reaching arms.

"There you go. You really should listen to your mother, you know," the doctor chided as she shifted him to her hip.

Kaoru was startled at how natural the motion seemed for the other woman even as annoyance flooded through her. "Megumisan, why are you promising him candy? That's not how I want my son to grow up!"

Megumi looked at Kenji and said austerely, "Kenjikun, did I say, 'I promise you candy?'"

The child shook his head solemnly.

"What did I say?"

"If I want sweet."

"Did you think I was going to give you something sweet?"

Kenji nodded, and even Megumi couldn't hide her surprise completely – even less so when he reached out to her and planted a messy kiss on her cheek. "Megubasan sweet." He giggled all the harder at the mirrored looks of utter consternation his mother exchanged with the doctor.

"Who's been teaching this kid to be so smooth?" Yahiko said with an insolent grin as he sauntered in.

"Don't look so innocent," Kaoru chided, the sparkle of humor beginning to return to her eyes. "The same person, no doubt, who's been trying to teach you."

Yahiko feigned a wounded expression. "Oiy, that hurt! No one's had to teach me. I'm naturally smooth."

"Because you're still too young to shave," Megumi said with a toss of her hair.

"Oiy!" Yahiko's indignation was genuine, though he eventually joined in the laughter.

The five watched the toddler wander about, exploring as toddlers are wont to do until he found something harmless that fascinated him.

"Are you okay, Megumisan?" Yahiko finally asked.

"You too?" She wasn't very surprised that he'd listened in to her conversation with Soushi. He was an adult, though she didn't always find it easy to encompass how much Yahiko had grown since she'd met him. He snorted derisively, as though scorning the idea she ought to have expected otherwise, and she nodded. "I'll be all right, now. My wound is healing well, and Soushisan… Soushisan will begin healing too, I think."

"You really do love him, don't you, Megumisan," Kaoru's voice was soft with understanding, and when Megumi's only answer was silence, the young mother did not bother to hide the accompanying smile.

"I wonder what it was like for Kensan," the doctor said, clearly changing the subject, as though she forgotten that he was in the room.

"Not so different from Semmaisan, actually." The soft voice was full of amusement and pain; by the way Megumi startled, she had indeed forgotten his presence. "This one had very little control over his feelings, lashing out blindly, always on the defensive… Nothing seemed funny at all, and there was a continuous feeling of doubt. This one assumes you were speaking of the time alone after the war, Megumidono?"

"I – yes," she said. "I'm sorry, Kensan."

He held up a hand, forestalling her apologies. "Nothing to forgive, Megumidono. There is much this one never told, because there wasn't much to tell. It was not a pleasant time. This one was so conflicted inside, and there was no one to turn to… That's one advantage Semmaisan has," he added, his tone brightening somewhat. "With your help, Megumidono, his healing will doubtless come easier." ~As will yours,~ he did not add aloud.

Megumi's eyes spoke far more than the simple "thank you" she voiced.

"Anyway, your brother was hoping to speak with you, Megumidono."

She sighed in exasperation. "Really, he can't do anything by himself," she muttered as she left the room. Kenshin and Kaoru exchanged amused smiles, Kaoru shifting Kenji on her hip.

"Are you sure, Kenshin?" Kaoru made sure her voice carried as she teased, "If that's how she talks about her brother, how much good will she be to someone she REALLY likes?"

"I heard that!" Megumi retorted, leaving Kaoru chuckling and Kenshin shaking his head in amusement.

She smiled as she made her way back to the house, finding her brother back in the sitting room.

"Neechan, are you sure?"

She stopped short at the cold expression on her brother's face. "Sure? What are you talking about?"

"Sure he can be trusted." Now she saw the glimmer of fear behind the ice – not of Soushi, but for him.

"I wasn't there," she reminded him. "But I think he needed this to purge the last pocket of infection. It will be some time draining, but I think he's lanced it," she said with a wry smile.

Toshi nodded, the ice leaving. "Good," he said. "I think so too." He opened his arms to his baby sister, who curled up in her big brother's embrace as she had done as a child.

"Toshiniisama, I was so scared I would lose him," she whispered, her voice taut.

"It's okay, Neechan. Let it out," he murmured, as he had done often in years long past.

.oOo.

Chou, on his way out, heard her tears and listened in for a moment. He smiled to himself a little crookedly. It seemed he was no longer needed here – but maybe he should stick around a little, make sure the kid was okay. He went in search of Sanosuke, figuring a little verbal sparring would make the jerk feel better. It would definitely do so for him.

He found the tall youth still sitting in the room from which he'd been eavesdropping, looking troubled and thoughtful all at once. Ungently, he kicked at a foot.

"D'you mind?" Sano barely glanced at his old rival.

"Huh," Chou huffed in surprise. "You must be takin' this whole thing pretty hard, if that's all you've got. The old chickenhead's gone to pieces."

"Shut up, broomhead," Sano growled, but his heart was clearly not in it.

"What's got you playing log in the bog, you pathetic stick in the mud?"

Sano actually looked up at that. "You're getting weirder."

"And you're getting boringer. And weaker," Chou added as though it were an afterthought.

"Maybe I am," Sano said, which made Chou look at him sharply and study him for a long moment.

"You really have changed," the blond said thoughtfully as he slid down the wall to sit near Sanosuke. "I don't think the new you is any improvement, either."

"Didn't ask," the other growled.

"What's your problem?" Chou said. For once, his tone was simple, straightforward and calm rather than accusatory.

Somewhat to his surprise, Sanosuke sighed. "It just seems too pat, y'know? Everyone's getting their happy ending, except her."

"You don't know that yet," Chou pointed out.

"That's just it. Our stories were pretty simple in the telling… Well, except maybe Kenshin and Jouchan's." He smirked briefly. "But the Fox spent years trying to get over Kenshin, when that guy shows up, and he's worse than Kenshin when it comes to making a move." Sanosuke paused to sigh, and both men were sure they heard a sneeze in the distance. "She's still too fragile herself to be picking up all his pieces on top of her own…"

"You still worrying about her?" Chou sounded surprised.

Sano snorted. "Dunno why I'm telling you anything."

Chou shrugged. "I'm safe. I don't care enough to talk to anyone else, and you don't like me enough to care what I think."

That evinced a short laugh from the troubled man. "Guess you got a point. Yeah, I'm worried about her. She deserves better."

"Not that you'd say it to her face, huh?" Chou sighed. "Well, tell you one thing: that woman's got a lot more than you give her credit for. Your loss, of course, although you got a sweet deal marrying the restaurant girl. Still, it's the ones that seem most broken that sometimes prove the strongest. Damned if I can keep up with Kamachan these days."

"'Kamachan?'" Now Sanosuke's surprise caused him to look at the carefully neutral expression on Chou's face. "You don't mean that girlyguy…?"

"Kamatari," and the ice was in the blond's tone as he leveled a cold look on his companion, "is one amazing person. She may feel trapped in a man's body, but one thing's for damn sure: she's got more heart than any three other men I've ever met, except maybe one."

"Wait… You and, uh, Kamatari… are…?" Sano's discomfort with the idea was clear, though he tried to fight it down; after all, it was not his business what – or who – the blond man did in his spare time.

"Not that it's any of your business." Chou glared at him, daring him to keep at it. Sanosuke let it drop, his own concerns about his friend and her situation more important to him than the broomhead's choice of partner.

To his own surprise, Sanosuke shrugged. The idea was not exactly appealing, but it certainly wasn't his business, as long as he didn't hear details. "So why's it your business what I think?"

"It's my life," Chou said with a glare.

"No, I meant about the kitsune."

"Because of the kid, whatever he's callin' himself these days." Chou's normally nonchalant expression faltered. "Hell, when Shishiosama recruited me, Soujirou was only about thirteen. I watched that kid do a lot of growin' up. Missed a lot, too. He was one scary ass whack job in a lot of ways, and comin' from me, that's sayin' a lot." Chou shook his head slowly. "Maybe I can't do much to help him, never could, but why shouldn't he get a chance same as the rest of us?" The blond shrugged and rose, not looking at the brunet.

"Anyway, I'm outta here. Probably goin' to head back to Tokyo soon. Oh," he paused in the doorway, his head cocked to one side as he continued to avoid looking at Sanosuke, "If you ever tell anyone what I said, I will kill you." Without another word, he left the room.

"Yeah, right. Try it anytime," Sano retorted emptily. Chou had left long before he bothered to speak; it hardly mattered. The blond's words had struck home. "Why shouldn't he get a chance same as the rest of us?" Sano echoed, his eyes not seeing the wall at which he stared.

.oOo.

_Pain. Actual, intense pain, the likes of which no one had been able to inflict on me in… years, actually. That damned reverse blade might not cut, but it was good steel – and the little shrimp was stupefyingly strong beyond anything his scrawny appearance might betray._

"_You seem as hard-headed as they come. You're the first to take a Ryuutsuisen and not fall. You are barely standing. Wait here while a doctor is called." The little redheaded runt turned his back on me – actually turned his back! That got to me like none of the fight had yet – and this had been a pretty good fight, at that._

"_It's not over yet!" By all the kami, it hurt even to talk, much less to yell that out through my clenched teeth. Still, it didn't hurt as much as losing to that damned patriot would. "I haven't fallen yet! I haven't lost! I swear upon the names of Sagara and Sekihou, I will DIE befire I lose to a patriot!" ~Sagarataichou, stand with me just a moment longer. Please.~ _

_He was coming back towards me! I couldn't let go of the remains of the zanbattou, or I would yet fall, but I couldn't bring myself to admit it. "That's it. Come! Come here!" His friends were saying something but I didn't hear – and with an expression unlike any I'd ever seen before, he got me right on the chin with a surprisingly sharp uppercut. _

_Now that he had my attention… "Don't you have the wrong opponent? Did the Sekihoutai teach you to kill 'patriots'," he glared at me, with an expression more of disgust than anger. "Or did it teach you to complete the revolution?"_

"_Don't you preach to me! You spoke of equality, but drowned it in your own greed! Don't speak of the revolution, THEN create a world of lies and sleep EASY in it!"_

_This time, the voice that cut me off was less familiar. "You're wrong!" It was the girl, who was still kneeling where she'd fallen, but her expression was of determination. "Kenshin isn't one of those! He never even took a position in the government! He uses his sword to DEFEND people! You think of Kenshin as Hitokiri Battousai only! Don't make wild accusations, not when it's YOU who came picking this fight!"_

"_She's right! And if you won't back off, then I, Myoujin Ya—" The kid's outburst was cut off by the redhead himself. _

_Were they for real? What was the deal? I wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but if the babe was right, and her presence and the kid's wouldn't make sense otherwise, then… _

"_Zanza, the revolution has not ended. It's true that the fighting stopped ten years ago and a new order was installed. But those of us who desire a better world still find ourselves trapped in a world where the weak are exploited. So this one, though unworthy, wields his sword to offer some aid to the weak. Whether it will be one year, or ten, or an eternity before the revolution is attained… No one can say, but this is my method of giving payment to the people who sacrified for the Meiji revolution. Payment to those who were killed by Hitokiri Battousai."_

_I'd never believed that words could hurt more than punches, cut deeper than swords. But in that moment, I knew the truth: swords could only cut to the heart of the body, but words could cut to the heart of a person, or a problem, and not just harm but heal. The words he spoke told me a lot. He had turned his back on me again and was talking to his friends, but their words were too soft for me to hear. My mind was too busy; I was reeling._

_~He's the same as Sagarataichou, who fought for the true new age he saw in his dreams. This man is the same. And still, he continues to fight… I lost hope and gave up. Drowning myself in fighting to try and forget it all._

_~I am sorry, Sagarataichou… By this man… I was so utterly… beaten.~ I gave in to the darkness for a hundred reasons. It was quiet and painless and warm and forgiving and quiet. And I had a lot to think about._

.oOo.

Unthinkingly, Sanosuke rubbed his shoulder where Kenshin had hit it all those years ago on that fateful day. It hadn't hurt since it had healed, but the strength of the memory brought him a twinge. No, Chou was right – they all were; the kid deserved a real chance. He'd been younger than Sanosuke himself, and in tougher circumstances by far; while Sano had run away from home for the romanticism of it all, his youthful idealism carrying him along until his dreams were shattered, Soujirou hadn't had a chance from the beginning. He didn't know much about how the Tenken got to be in so tightly with Shishio's crew, but from what he understood, the kid had led a miserable existence until Shishio appeared on the scene. It was in self defense, born from a fit of something between desperation and insanity, that he had slain the family related to him by blood, and from then on he'd basically been raised by Shishio.

Soujirou, he remembered, was two years younger than he; when all this had happened, he had been eight, and far less self-sufficient.

~Okay, so he has come a long way… And if a wasteful screwup like me deserves a chance, then who am I to hold back someone who never even had the advantages I did?~

Then a question arose in the back of his mind once more. ~But is my problem with him? Or… is it her?~

_[AN] Dun-dun-DUNNNN! I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not. I have a love-hate relationship with cliffhangers._

_I know it's been slow going between postings and all; real life has been really obnoxious lately; I'm trying to find an apartment and move and a few dozen other things within the next month, so it may be some time before the next couple of installments. I beg and appreciate your forbearance. [/AN]_


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